The Cruise

My wife's been whining for some time now Wanting me to take her on a cruise Now we've been married for twenty-five years So she wasn't gonna let me refuse So we packed up our bags and off we went Kinda like a second honeymoon I said, "Fix us some sandwiches to eat on the way" Then I told her we'd be there soon She said, "Where are we going Hawaii or Bahamas?" I said, "This place is better than that" We stopped at a place that said, "Paddle Boats Here" I said, "We're here, now don't forget your hat" Well, now needless to say, I did something wrong 'Cause my wife started throwing such a fit We went around circles for at least twenty minutes 'Cause everytime I'd paddle, she'd quit Now I wasn't gonna pay for no life perservers My bicycle tubes worked fine My wife had that tube wrapped around her neck And both of her hands around mine Well, to make a long story short, she'll never forget That time I took her on a cruise And everytime I even try to forget it I remember that horrible bruise