The Crapper

Shiny and white, it’s always awake.
It’s even got a seat for both of your cakes.
Calming and cool it holds such beauty.
It’s mans best friend when you’re feeling a bit tooty

It’s a cradle for your face if you’ve drank too much gin.
Just wipe off the seat before it touches your chin.
It’s also been known as quite the turd trapper.
This throne was invented by John C. Crapper.

To sit on this throne, you won’t need a crown.
Just jiggle the handle if it doesn’t flush down.
There is paper on a roll to help ease the pain.
An apple a day will help with the strain.

You can sit or stand if you need to tinkle
But do be responsible, in case you should sprinkle.
If you make a mess just wipe off the seat.
Your family will smile and think that you’re sweet.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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Fenn Avatar
February 11, 2021 at 6:35 PM
This is hilarious Mark!
Koplin Avatar
February 13, 2021 at 10:45 AM
Thanks Jennifer
Cunningham Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 3:10 PM
Haha but for old John it would be a hole in the ground. Tom
Koplin Avatar
February 13, 2021 at 10:45 AM
What a legacy
Kavanagh  Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 4:12 AM
Yeah Mark, I agree with Jan it is a crap poem, full of shwit, fully enjoyed, cheers David
Koplin Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 8:59 AM
Thanks David! It’s my crappiest one yet, lol
Logan Avatar
February 9, 2021 at 6:34 PM
Toilets have the most disgusting job of all. We dump on them from our mouths and bottoms. you flushed out some good points.
Koplin Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 8:59 AM
It’s a wonderful device that is often taken for granted, thank you my friend!
Rodrigues Avatar
February 9, 2021 at 5:54 PM
I laughed all the way through! ...a seat for your cakes and to cradle your face! Hahaha!
Koplin Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 8:58 AM
Thanks Kim, as always you put a smile on my face.
Allison Avatar
February 9, 2021 at 4:41 PM
ha ha ha a fab crap poem but i will never relinquish my crown as queen of poop on poetry soup lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Koplin Avatar
February 10, 2021 at 8:57 AM
Crap poem indeed! You will always be royalty my lady, thank you my friend!
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