The Cowboy's Five-Second Rule

They say if you drop yer bacon, You don’t have to wind up the fool— You jest pick it up, not fakin’— It’s what’s called the five-second rule! And it works all the same you see, Fer tabacky juiced grass hoppers— Ya wipe ‘em off clean as can be— If talkin’, you lose yer choppers! But if you don’t clean ‘em good there, I guess maybe you should try it— Unless you don’t mind that horse hair Addin’ fiber to yer diet! I mind that rule now like some hag— In less than five seconds I try— To pick up my teeth or I gag, When it falls in some fresh cow pie! To make this timely tale complete, The sad endin’ to this is plain: Brush after each meal that you eat— ‘Cause gummin’ beef jerky’s a pain!