The Complant

Why do I have to write 
this poem? 
I had to find the words, 
and then put them 
in the correct order.
It’s not just another work!
It’s like I’m doing an old dance 
from the 60s called The jerk.
So why do I have to 
write this poem?
Let’s start with a thirty day 
money-back guarantee.
How come it’s only thirty days?
What ever happened to 
Satisfaction guaranteed
Or your money back.

I had to bring in my receipt.
They canceled my reservation
for a weekend retreat. 
Now can someone tell me 
why, do I have to write 
this poem?
Customer service 
didn’t keep track,
I want my money back!

When I spoke to the
lady behind the counter.
I knew she wouldn’t regret it,
When I turn down 
the company credit.
That’s when she quoted 
the phrase that pays…
Then you’ll have to wait 
a week, to ten days. 
Oh, and by the way,
There’s a restocking fee of five dollars.
I started to holler 
as I reached for her collar.
But my better half 
pulled me out the door.
A good thing too, 
the police were parked 
outside the store.
Before it could get any worse.
I filed a complaint with
The better business bureau
and the Chamber of Commerce.
But I didn’t stop there,
I put in a call, 
My grandson 
works in City Hall.

Now tell me, why do married men 
get in trouble,
when a gorgeous woman walks by?
I got new neighbor’s 
and I won’t lie,
I’m already tired of hearing 
their babies cry.
Now! Can someone tell me!
Who let the water run dry?
When there looking for someone to blame.
Why do they call my name?
People may think I’m insane, 
so I’ll just sit down, 
and let someone else complain.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023



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Date: 3/7/2024 3:31:00 PM
Congrats on 7th place out of 30 entries! Love the DMV flavor of this, writing poetry being this brutal task, which it is. Love the take and approach.
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