The Closer

As the front lines advance, I feel the absense of soldiers on my side... To look at the guns, to see the tanks in the Distance approaching... Peace treaties look like a cowards remorse When fighting for death... Promises Unaccompanied by action mill the anger into Something that could be made to feed... The closer, the more addiction increases The closer, the more you realize that your life Is between you and God... So the other side keeps getting closer and The vulnerable beg for mercy... The torment of the approach thickens the anxiety, Whipping it until it is dense... I scramble to become the woman that can handle The brutality that inches near... As if a vagina will somehow lessen The force of the attack The closer, the more resistance expands The closer, the more desperation develops the Longing to be ready though I never will What can I say to you as you descend upon me? I say I will, but you won't anymore... I say patience, you say time... I surrender... I let it all go and say my prayers... You have me... I'm yours! I am the handle you pull upon to open your Distaste for a lack of compliance, and your need to control. No it's not ego that stopped me, What it was I may never know... No it's not love that inspired you, What it was I may never know... The closer, the more I trust God and my country The closer, the more I change into the person You always wanted but now will never want you.