The Chair

Hello my best chair, and how are you? I suppose you’re ok with nothing to do. ‘Yes I’m ok’, I heard from the chair Hold on a minute, what was that there? A chair that speaks? How can this be? ‘It’s easy’ it says, ‘about time you heard me. I’ve been crying for years, under your butt Wanting some freedom from this chair-rut.’ I’m sorry my chair, I never could tell, ‘Well since you’re now listening, your butt smells. Oh yes, and don’t let me forget You’ve never even cleaned me yet!’ ‘How would you feel, please answer me, How would you like to be a settee? People sitting, all fidgety and farty It’s even worse when you’re having a party!’ I’m so sorry chair, but now that I know You can speak to me and tell me so, I’ll try my best to show you some heart And I’ll leave the room when I have to fart!