The Calling

The calling, I can hear it The calling, can’t you hear it? In the wind, through the leaves In the shimmering rays of sunlight In the moon, through the moonbeams The calling is strong; I can feel it It is so strong; can you hear it now? In my heartbeat; throbbing red In my blood and my nerve endings In my mind; thoughts racing I want it to end The calling is stronger; I can see it It is stronger than I; my strength not enough It is driving me to a place I know well It is a place of painless euphoria It is a place of numbness It is a place I now enter The calling has stopped; I answered its call I feel no pain and am slipping away To a place of no worry, bad thoughts ... a relief I am home in this place of nothingness I am home in this place of no memory I have arrived and succumbed to my calling My senses are numbing ... this feeling I seek My feelings are none My Calling is Addiction Constantly beckoning ... luring me with thoughts of peace Will this be the last time? I do not know The moonlight of this night has now turned to day, with the sunrise My head, my eyes, my body, my soul ... now spent ... I feel again Another night given way to shame and pain ... I do not remember Addiction has once again robbed me ... or have I given myself away? I do not know