Jeffrey Howey | + Follow Poet |
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The Burden I Carry

I had a nightmare, 2 nights ago
After 7 hours of fighting insomnia
This nightmare was hard to bear though
It forced my heart to sink into my gut, and caused me great nausea

In this dream, it was August thirteenth 
The temperature felt 70 degrees, it was bright and sunny
My arm tingled from the UV Rays and I felt relief 
I was in bliss and wanted sugar so I made a wish for some honey

But as I made that wish, this dream took a quick turn
Prism-like, ominous clouds started to swarm the sky 
Suddenly I wasnt outdoors anymore, causing me much discern
I breathed in through my nose to calm, so I would not cry

I was standing in the operation room at clermont hospital center
Seems I'm a scrub nurse, considered for promotion to resident
But I'm the only one at the table, no one allowed to enter
If they helped, the accountable would be everyone present

My test was to open a jar that was far from the normal
The purest golden honey was inside, but it didn't come from bees
This honey, as I was told by my cousin Taylor, afterall 
Was made of happiness, and that could cure any disease

I stood there shaking wildly, Taylor trying his best to advise
He was standing on the spectator platform to my rear
Since he wasn't allowed to interact, and Taylor has always been wise
He gave me a huge grin of confidence, that rounded past his ear

Time ticked by, I struggled for 12 hours to open this jar
My knuckles on both hands were bleeding and sore
Trying to achieve my dreams I had come so far
I've wasted my chance, and now it's all broken up and done for

The timer buzzed finally. It screamed, piercing me like a wraith
Taylor faded away into a puff of smoke and I was in solitude 
I laid the jar on the ground in defeat, since I had lost my faith
The dream faded away, waking me in my current foul mood

This poem is a metaphorical explanation 
Of the burden I have carried for far too long, you see
This dark depressing mindset has long since been taken
Now I'm beyond help from others, only I can help me

                Tuesday April 16th, 2019

Copyright © Jeffrey Howey | Year Posted 2019

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P.S. Awtry Date: 5/3/2019 8:59:00 AM I feel the frustration expressed in your poem. The cure within your hands but still impossible to achieve like a cruel test. Blessings dear poet. And congratulations on your honors in this contest :) Login to Reply Jeffrey Howey Date: 5/3/2019 12:19:00 PM Sometimes the cruelest of tests on the tree that is life can produce the most extraordinary fruit. Thank you!

CayCay Jennings Date: 5/3/2019 1:24:00 AM I have been moved, my empathy actively reeling while my understanding hugs its emotional knowledge and poetically you claimed me 100% inside and throughout each line and rhyme that unfolded this poem. Poetic hugs ... CayCay Login to Reply Jeffrey Howey Date: 5/3/2019 2:35:00 AM Returned poetic hugs

Sheri Fresonke Harper Date: 5/2/2019 3:44:00 PM Jeffrey, congratulations on your 2nd place win! I loved it for the way you worked to connect a personal feeling, health issue to a dream place and a battle, strong work. Login to Reply Jeffrey Howey Date: 5/2/2019 5:17:00 PM Thank you!!! I honestly had worries with how I was trying to portray the focal point of the piece. But I'm glad the meaning found it's way through :)