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The Bow Tie Wins

Ryan and Amy are getting married next month…as couples often do…
As the father of the groom in honor of their tying the knot…I thought I’d tie one too.

When I found the perfect bow tie…I knew I had to buy it…
and by my calculations I had two months in which to learn to tie it.

The bow tie, however, came with no directions…in the box just one untied tie and nothing more…but I was undeterred…after all…that’s what You Tube videos are for.

So I Googled the easiest way to tie a bow tie and a smiling man came into view…
He said this is easy…not to worry…do exactly what I do.

And I tried…I really tried to do exactly what he did…I tried with all my might…
but I realized after 70 years upon this Earth I didn’t know my left hand from my right.

And he was much too hard to follow…his hands moved too quickly to and fro…
when he was finished tying…I hadn’t even started a bow.

My confidence was beginning to wane…but I still had my tenacity…
I have put together IKEA furniture…one little bow tie would not get the better of me.

So I turned to another You Tube video…then a a third, a fourth, a fifth…
after which I was certain the easiest way to tie a bow tie was nothing but a myth.

I even printed out written directions where after each step I could stop and check…
but the finished bowtie in the picture never matched the one around my neck.

After one month of painstaking practice…I finally had it down…
When I showed Deborah she asked, “Did you mean to make it quite big…you look more like a clown.”

She was right but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make that bow tie small…
and looking like a clown at Ryan and Amy’s wedding…well that won’t do at all.

So when they tie the knot next month…
my hand tied bow tie is a fantasy I now have shed…
I wonder if Ryan and Amy would be happy….
with something from IKEA instead.

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