Ilene Bauer Poet Rhyme

The Best Laid Plans

Perfect plans just don’t exist
No matter how you try.
It’s possible to nail the gist
But other parts won’t fly.

For circumstances do contrive
To ruin the precision
With which you kept your hopes alive
The way you did envision.

“The best laid plans of mice and men”
Is such a brilliant quote;
When Robert Burns put down his pen,
He knew a gem he wrote.

Such simple words and so succinct,
They perfectly suffice
To mark their message, long-time inked,
For us and also mice.

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Zoria Gregory September 28, 2013 at 10:47 PM This is so good!

Robert Johnson September 15, 2013 at 3:07 PM We take a shot and roll the dice and hope the results will suffice. There's never any guarantee that what we want is what will be. Write on hoping it works out is all that we can do. I know I'm glad for what you've written when I have read you. eh :/ :) That first face and the eh is for the grind of the last sentance of my comment. :)

Karen Anglesey September 13, 2013 at 8:50 PM Your poetic ability is evident. Great content. I often say "go ahead and make plans. Life will come along and change them for you"...I think the critique offered by Just That Archaic Poet has merit. I agree with the synopsis given. Perhaps we should value the opinions of our peers :) Just That Archaic Poet September 14, 2013 at 9:26 AM "Hear, Hear!" lol I think constructive crits help is grow as artists; I know they certainly help me. I want to be the best at my craft, and it's important for me to understand as much about what's wrong or off in a piece as much as what's right with it. But I guess not everyone looks at it that way. Just That Archaic Poet September 14, 2013 at 9:26 AM *us grow

Tim Ryerson September 13, 2013 at 4:14 AM Well Ilene, once again your simple and straightforward wisdom shines bright...LOVE that last line too!...Believe it or not, you remind me a bit of Will Rogers - Tim

Jon A Cavanaugh September 12, 2013 at 10:17 PM Wonderful. I love the rhyme and love the meter. Bravo!

Just That Archaic Poet September 12, 2013 at 6:50 PM I liked this piece, and loved the title, but there's something about the first stanza that doesn't seem to fit with the rest of it. I would consider reworking the first stanza. I see where you are going with it, but it's not exactly spot on for me. And "he knew a gem he wrote" feels a little forced. Overall though, it's a quaint kind of homage, and you have some other fabulous lines in there. Just trying to be helpful and in no way critical; it's obvious you're talented :) Just That Archaic Poet September 14, 2013 at 9:22 AM Thanks, Karen. I was honestly just trying to be helpful. I was hoping my suggestions would help make a good poem even better; that's all :) Karen Anglesey September 13, 2013 at 8:53 PM We either grow or stay stuck in the same ruts. Critiques are valuable when given constructively. Kudos to you for caring :)