The Beat of My Heart

Without a word I slip out of bed and a thousand conversations run through my mind as I walk barefoot across worn carpeting. Two nights ago, I barely made it home while driving through a deluge and water on the roads. I defied the warnings and survived as bolts of lightning laced the sky. I was the storm. I was the silence. Now as the sun pokes through a thin veil of clouds the sense of nothingness I embrace. I must admit a year ago I loved someone. She said that she loved my humor my new stories and poems and there was so much to share. Now she’s a memory lingering in my heart. This is my life, I say when alone. This is what I’ve made it as I watch a shadow dance on the wall— it can be anything. My chest ached the other day when I bore the weight of humanity while working at a grocery store. Customers and I talked and traded jokes but as the day wore upon me I longed to be in my time and place. A housemate downstairs shuffles through the kitchen while I sit in my loft and play with words longing to say what’s never been said.