The Adverse World
I sing my songs with rageful joy in mind,
Forgetting the past struggles, aches and sorrows
That intertwine with my mind’s eye, leaving all of me behind
Forgiving others of their wrongs for better tomorrows
You know who comforts me during hard times?
Yes, you guessed it, my fluffy, beautiful and ebony-black cat named Ebbie
I need a sweet, adorable animal to rely on sometimes
She’s a family-oriented queen who gets those birdies in gracious glee
Anyways…I got a little sidetracked
But, to be exact, what I say is fact —
I will always and forevermore
Love my extended family to the deepest core
When I am old and gray,
I wish my wisdom of this lifetime won’t stray or fade away
Like the smoke from my bong
Like the ending of an epic song
The adverse world unfinished…
Will finish, whether right or wrong
In His Kingdom, all will belong
I wish His knowledge will last for an eternity and beyond
As long as I keep my family’s bond
Untarnished and strong — but, how long will it last?
How long will the past remain in the past?
Will this pain and suffering last or will it be gone so fast?
Just like a titanium bong, we do belong but so much better
So much better than a hit or two or whatever…whatever…
Again,
How long will the wretched past remain in the past?
Again,
How long will my future adverse world last?
Again,
I’ve been confused, abused and bruised tremendously
Again,
I’m enlightened by hope and faith abundantly
Because this adverse world unfinished will finish…the adverse world is not just an adverse world that we all wish upon
For, my family and I pray for that day when there will be no more anguish till the break of dawn
The memories of him fry my brain cells deep inside…exterminating my pride in the process
But I won’t let it destroy me this summertime
I loved him as a person, but hated being his son, having no where to hide in utter distress
The truth will set us free in due time in a flick of a dime
This intense hatred
Has given me dread instead
So, I automatically think upon what my family thinks of me —
I am handsome, I am resilient and I am stronger than my misery
You didn’t love me fatherly
Like my beloved, huge family do
You abandoned me harshly
You should’ve knew it hurt me too
Wondering if I’ll ever be truly free…from…doubtfulness
On weak knees, I wonder if I’ll amount to God’s happiness
I hardly doubt it —
But I must admit
We aren’t too far from His peaceable gladness
Aside from my daily sadness and madness
Aside from our struggles on a daily basis,
Our outcome will be the Kingdom of pure delightfulness
I conjured up emotions inside, longing to abide by God’s side
Still mixed up in its inner core…feeling almost crucified
Raw feelings I cannot simply undo —
It’s a rather complicated cycle of thinking of you
I’d rather be thinking of my true Father in heaven…
Instead, there’s thoughts I cannot undo again and again
The endless bull you put me through
Has tied a noose around my neck of rue
Don’t ever approach my family or go near them
Or you’ll be like the demolished city of Bethlehem
Peace will eventually rule out the strife
As long as I have my daughter and wife,
Always abiding by my side, even from afar
I can still see them and feel them like a shooting, shining star
Amongst the scars of who I am and who I ought to be
Are you willing to see me through the pleasureless pressure I feel intensely on a daily?
I am longing to be free and ever so freer
I am sorry for all the things I said earlier
Waiting for the adverse world to be finished soon
Until then, I’ll smoke away my sorrows and rejoice once in a blue moon
Still, I want to live in an adverse world with you and you alone
Without him on my mind to ruin our time, just the two of us on our own
Me and my winsome wife will zip out all the strife of our past shame and torment
We won’t feel worthless anymore and our wings of flight will embrace each other all the more as we soar the night away without any regrets or resentment
My life is a run-on sentence of sweet serenity and it goes on and on and on
I will not give in to fatality in this fantastic reality with you, my sun-shining Sharon
My life is beyond the earthly grievances of sad pity
I am not one with anguish and angst that isn’t pretty
What does an adverse world mean to you and me?
I am not the weed pieces in your distasteful drink,
Whirling and twirling and spiraling and falling into the sink
I will rise from my past mistakes and replace it with love
I almost put my whole life at stake many times before
I will rise like the ashes and embers from high up above
I’m an optimistic owl in the sky, graciously soaring to the core
What does an adverse world mean to you and me?
Yet, I feel I won’t make the same mistakes you did
I made several, shady decisions, but I was just a kid
I’m a grown man now with no regret
I’m not a dead man in his casket
You must be jealous of who I’ve become
Unlike you, probably like flat coke and rum
You still cross my mind, you wretched father of mine…
I won’t end up like you — heard it through the grape vine
That I’m not like you…maybe it was His surreal, divine sign
Without you in mind, I’ll probably be just fine
You were a bitter and abusive human,
Much like spilled wine upon an aggressive swine
But I’m like a ram, better than you, man
I thought for a minute that an adverse world
Meant that a tragedy and woefulness was unfurled
But I was wrong all along as I almost cough up my lung
The truth is…an everlasting song, left unsung
~Inspired by and dedicated to AJP~
Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2021
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