Thats a Moray
[An offering for fans of Dean Martin... or not. More or
less to the tune of ‘That’s Amore’ (not the ‘In Napoli’ bit),
this is the cleaned up version of an unprintable original.
In UK ‘Old Fellow’ is a euphemism for... let’s just call it
man’s best friend.]
***
Big long fish in the sea
Eight foot long and wriggly
That's a Moray
Well I pooped in my trunks
It was biting off chunks
That's a Moray
First it bit my thing
My ding a ling a ling
People on the scene
Heard me bellow
This big fish just bit me
And it swam away with my old fellow
Then I heard someone squeal
That big fish was an eel
That's a Moray
Then they bought me a skirt
To conceal where I hurt
Fair enough
Well, I gave it a whirl
Living life as a girl
But no more, eh?
’Cause I went down the pub
For a flirt and some grub
That’s amore
See , this bloke wandered by
With that look in his eye
That’s amore
He said hey babe what’s yours
Slipped his hand down my drawers
That’s amore?
But he felt quite a chump
As he fondled my stump
End of soirée
Had a tear in my eye
At his hasty bye bye
That’s amore
I learned electronics
Made some bionic bits
That’s amore
Ladies squeal with delight
When I ‘stay up’ all night
They’re in love
And they all ask of me
Is that whole thing for me
That’s...
A Moray
But I’ll write nothing more
As I think this has gone...
...Far enough.
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