That Little Girl
I jumped around my room,not caring about things that matter
I was throwing things around and all they could hear was clatter
I sat in the car park smoking weed and drinking rum
I regretted everything I done yet did it again but was still disgusted of who I have become
I ran away and lied in the park trying to fall asleep
I sat on my bed,cutting, not caring if I go to deep
I choked at the look of somebody taking pills
I seen things and experienced things you would only see on films
Yet I was that little girl
That little girl who used to dance around her mums room
That little girl who always used to go places smelling like florescent perfume
That little girl who’s face would light up when her dad would see her
That little girl who used to strike up a conversation no matter who they were
That little girl
That little girl is lost and never to be found
She is scared and crying in the deepest corners of my heart
She kicks and screams begging to restart
Yet the room only fills up with smoke and more pill packets fall, empty.
In the room and I’m her heart, she knows, things will never be the same
She sits and wallows in shame
Over the corse of three years she grows skinnier and who she was started to fade
Yet somebody tries to come to her aid
She won’t get up
Oh how she wished to move
She wanted so badly to improve
It takes months for her to gain hope
When she did she cleared up the smoke
Cleaned the cuts
No longer gave into impulse
And began the healing
That’s the feeling
She hasn’t fully recovered yet but she’s on her way
But when she does that little girl is back to stay
Copyright © Scarlette Clough | Year Posted 2023
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