Home » Poems » Sidney Hall Mad Poet » That Is Not Me Elephant

That Is Not Me Elephant

Here we go,
We decided to go for a walk in the park 
I remember it was summer so the evening isn’t dark
Now me misses is not small
Rather large, but not tall

So we have to walk slow
The sort of, take two steps have a breather, that kinda thing, you know
We eventually walk a good distance when she gasped “over there”
So with all me strength I help her as she slumped onto the chair

Now I’ve never felt sorry for anything in me life
But this was the first time, for the metal chair straining to support me wife
Next to me wife was a ninety year old gran with a pop eyed stare
She screamed before she fainted “that not fair”

I heard a muffled yelp come from below me wife’s butt
I cringed when I saw the dog leash and thought, me misses killed that old bags 
mutt.
Running toward us was a 7 foot built like a Brick Sh-t house which made it worse
He had muscles on muscles, I thought “today I’m going home in a hearse
 
He picked me up by the neck and said “Look what your wife done”
I couldn’t speak and could only feel the life strangled from me which was not fun
“I’m sorry it was an accident,” me misses said so elegant
I just managed to say the first thing that came to mind “That… is… not my Elephant…

Well it took the fire brigade an hour to prize the mutt
From the chaffed tight squeaky cheeks of me wife’s butt
Now I don’t know what she had in her bag
But when it hit me mouth at break neck speed it left me jaw that sagged

So for six months I couldn't drink a beer
And to rebuild me mouth the dentist had to do it through me rear.

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