Thanks For Nothing

The invitation spelled my name “Eileen,” which I don’t do. We’ve never met the bride and groom; Her parents, though, we knew. We skipped the wedding; sent a gift. The thank you came today. I laughed when I first read it; This is what it had to say: “Thank you very much for coming To our wedding and, as well, For the cookware set you gave us.” Guess they couldn’t really tell That among the many guests Whose bodies added to the scene, There were presents but no presence Of the fictional “Eileen.”