Tears Without a Meaning

I held my pain in for so long I'm now crying tears without a meaning As a man I'm not supposed to let people know when I'm in pain and bleeding They will just tell me to man up if they hear me screaming I've been holding my pain for so long I'm now crying tears without a meaning My words hold the sincerity that my smile lacks Smiling for the world to cover the hurt, but in secret I shed tears that should have been cried a while back I dress it up for others, I try my best to style that But sometimes there's more to the story, like an Email with a file attached When you left my life, it crushed me but I had to act like I wasn't hurt Even though when I helped you, I did it out of the goodness in my heart, not for something in return Now enough time has passed, and the smoke has cleared, so I'll begin to heal my burns Girls say that men have a one track mind, but I need a hug more than I need to get a girl out of her skirt I miss our random conversations, the jokes and the laughter Everyone has a right to be with who they choose, so my thoughts on this don't matter But it breaks my heart that you went back and stayed with a guy who beats you I just hope you know you're not alone, that's why I've sent you a few messages to try and reach you Lockdown is starting to get to me, but the whole world is dealing with the same I just joke that 9 year old me would have wanted to wear a face mask like Rey Mysterio or Kane I'm still growing, and maybe I've been dealing with stress in the wrong way Maybe I've been shedding tears without a meaning, but my weakness has made me strong today