Tale of Diamond Lil
Bill and Gil met a new gal, Diamond Lil
In a sassy saloon named Petey’s Swill
She was dressed with a dolly lady’s skill
Ruffled as a male peacock with a trill
Diamond Lil educated naïve Bill and innocent Gill
Of this debauchery world they had each known zill
Her step-by-step lessons were a gigantic thrill
She taught them with the precision of a sergeant’s drill
Many of her life lessons were taught on Farmer’s Hill
Like how to make corn whiskey in a bootlegger’s still
She also taught them some interesting things at the old saw mill
They knew now how to determine if a fabric was satin or twill
Bill and Gill never got over their education with Diamond Lil
One of their most deranged jealous neighbors was Jenny Jill
Jenny tried to kill Diamond Lil with a giant unknown pill
Thus, Lil ran off with a dastardly gentleman named Mr. Bill.
Taking with her two other men she had met at Petey’s Swill
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