Tale of a Fictitious Seaman

My grandfather Hymie spent his entire life at sea his thick calloused hands and ruddy complexion re enforced non verbal body language voluminous tomes as testimony to countless years (spilling into decades) exposed to salty spittled spumed raw elements que sin art finest artisanal blended, crafted, dredged by mother nature pre pared within each trough and crest only for thy fiercely weatherbeaten nee, tough as rawhide, leathery, chafed skin to me not surprising, since this mariner born, bred and near lee schooled within briny deep ever since knee high (or so he claimed truth to swirling rumor), jovialy pleased that his purportedly learnin' myth writ tik ne'r included NEVER settn' foot in formal classroom, his knowledge icy anecdotes aced, surpassed, and trounced that of what he referred to as grenadier landlubbers green behind the ears – glee fully jabbing with his unsheathed scabbard play flea actually downplaying any exploits, that didst educate him, prith ee teaching him survival skills asper getn' taut via eddy fied tests frequently de siding a life or death outcome, yet our Dickensian mutual friend shared exploits while he dressed not in tatters, but self made clothes from cree chores comfortable furs, and though a striking appearance cut, ne'r did this ole codger (fit as a fiddle with tall slender build), said middle aged man appeared quite be coming. An aura, charisma, dogma amazingly graced stalwart, gestalt, deportment aie found added an air of charming debonair, esteeming flair, genteel heir which tasked guessing years old, aye presumed him to exit the uterine lair at least a few score tours round oblate sphere as aspect of youthfulness played across his eyes one colored green like a spring day in the country, the other jetblue sans burnin' four pearl jam oyster cult year. ah...them tha many decades past since the merchant from Neptune to mast to nether world, though his parting seems like it hapt last year, noot nay twas scores o' full moons ago, that grim reaper came swift and fast.