Taking Back An Existence

I take all this in This moment here and now Feeling despair. I’ve died already, Been beaten, tortured, and raped a thousand times over, That will never go away, I carry the hurt of my ancestors in my chest. Hearing their stories be cast aside, mistaken, or not heard at all Burns in my soul like a fire I can’t put out. Within the walls of this humanity that blinds me Will I ever begin to exist? Colonization rears its many heads with a sword, I died hundreds of years ago. Held in chains called a percent When will the killings stop? If you ignore my history, ignore my struggle It doesn’t make me any less real, I am still thriving, alive. Forget I’m here now But remember to sexualize me, make me inferior, Take away my existence. Forget what you learned or what you think you know. We celebrate a painful history, With Jackson on the twenty dollar bill And Columbus a national hero. I can’t say I’m not angry Because I’m pissed as hell But I won’t be angry and give you that strength. I was raised to have respect Though I never thought it could come to me. I have to change where I’m coming from, Heal this place of pain, Be open to you whom I love And stand up, tall, respectful, Respected. -Tuiyanti Mampihandon