Carrie Richards Poet Tritina

Sympathic Moon --- Tritina

*Tritina

As midnight comes, moon tiptoes in to wait,
to soothe her gently with a tender smile.
Expectation is haloed on the wall

Moon angles soft light, around every wall,
where mobiles dangle, and butterflies wait,
to charm baby's eyes, and wrangle her smiles

The clocks keep ticking, and the moon must wait.
Someone is kicking inside belly's wall.
She cringes in pain, ...but then bravely smiles.

Dawn waits to smile, ...until she climbs that wall




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For the Tritina "Baby" Contest: Sponsored by Craig Cornish
7/23/14

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John Lawless August 7, 2014 at 7:36 AM Excellent treatment of the theme and the form. Well done.

Poet Destroyer A August 6, 2014 at 10:33 PM Excellent! and WOW...PD

Casarah Nance August 4, 2014 at 3:50 PM Oh that is amazingly beautiful, grats on another win :)

Richard Lamoureux August 4, 2014 at 8:35 AM Beautiful! Congratulations.

Dr. Upma A. Sharma August 4, 2014 at 7:47 AM Carrie such a lovely poem ! Congrats on top place win on this excellent pen!

Poet Destroyer A August 3, 2014 at 7:26 AM A wonderful win Carrie...pd

Jan Allison August 3, 2014 at 7:23 AM congratulations on your win:-) Hugs jan x

Mohan Chutani August 3, 2014 at 4:43 AM Congrats, Carrie, on a fine Tritina.

Charlotte Puddifoot August 3, 2014 at 4:43 AM I knew I was looking at a top winner when I read this and commented before! if I were you, I would be getting a collection together with a view to publishing; I know you've said you put them away for your family, but in my opinion they are just too good not to be shared with a wider audience...I know I keep saying it, I'm like a stuck record (cliche alert!), but you cannot teach what you've got...congrats on yet another top win! :)

Eileen Manassian August 3, 2014 at 2:16 AM Congrats on your win, Carrie. This had a different take and feel to it...Before birth...those are precious bonding months...You captured this so well...and that last line was just amazing. Hugs

Robert Lindley August 2, 2014 at 11:04 PM Congrats on a great win my friend!

Andrea Dietrich August 2, 2014 at 8:33 PM this is SO clever. Best one for sure. Congratulations, dear.

Regina Mcintosh August 2, 2014 at 6:34 PM Congratulations. I love your poem :) God bless you.

Paul Callus August 2, 2014 at 2:49 PM Great take on this baby theme, Carrie. Both wall and moon served you well! Should I call it Great Expectations?! Congratulations! very much deserved top win. // paul

Nette Onclaud August 2, 2014 at 2:15 PM hearty congrats on your win, carrie..you have chosen your words well in order to reveal your word picture for your reader to be able to experience and enjoy... huggs

Faye Gibson August 2, 2014 at 12:32 PM Congratulations, Carrie, on another top win. You have crafted this like a melody. Beautiful.

Charlotte Puddifoot July 26, 2014 at 5:55 AM carrie, this is exceptional, and would definitely be a top winner with me! I like the unusual angle you've taken and the skilled use of internal rhyme, and I love that line "expectation is haloed on the wall"...I've said it before, I'll say it again: you are a natural born poet with a gift that can't be taught - you've either got it or you haven't! to read your work is a privilege :)

Carolyn Devonshire July 24, 2014 at 2:29 PM Dear Carrie, This is such a beautiful poem. Craig is sure to love it as much as I do. I'm sending you a Soup mail. Best wishes in Craig's contest. Love, Carolyn

Frederic Parker July 24, 2014 at 1:14 PM well done Carrie, I found this to be an interesting poem from a point of view only a woman would know

Reason A. Poteet July 24, 2014 at 11:33 AM I love the personification of the moon, rather like a first-time grandparent who just can't wait. Well-done best of luck in Craig's challenge.

Faye Gibson July 24, 2014 at 10:43 AM Just lovely, Carrie, has a lullaby feel and such beautiful imagery of an expectant mother. Love it.

Eileen Manassian July 23, 2014 at 9:42 PM This is beautiful, Carrie...An expectant mother...I love that the baby hasn't arrived yet, and you take us to how the mother feels her first contractions. Lovely! The moon adds a magical dimension. Sweet