Silent One Poet Ottava rima

Notes About The Poem

I wrote this earlier but lost the poem, I've tried to remember it, but not sure it has come out the same.  First time I have written in this form.

An ottava rima is a type of poem which is composed of 8 eleven-syllable lines, with an a-b-a-b-a-b-c-c rhyme scheme. It was developed in the late thirteenth century and early fourteenth century for drama and religious songs by Tuscan poets

 

 

Swimming with sharks

In times where eyes are fixated at your sins, 
judgment trolls in deceptive double standards. 
When pointing fingers nobody really wins, 
there's no joy in being defamed and slandered. 
Swimming in an aquarium full of fins, 
sharks will bite your flesh then leave you abandoned. 
Scars will bleed with pain making you feel brittle, 
hard hearts will laugh with insults that belittle.

Afraid of exposure honest souls retreat,
when their character's stereotyped by lies.
Frenemies hide behind a mask of deceit,
their envy is an embarrassing disguise.
Decline the pedestal they place on your feet
emancipate from enslavements that chastise.
Stay clear from those who act like a spirit thief,
growth from ignoring spite gives you self belief.

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Maria Williams February 5, 2024 at 12:28 AM Great advice and very well written my dear friend however when one learns to navigate the water, one learns to survive the shark bites and survive. Water off a duck's back as far as i'm concerned,or maybe one has to learn the art of being more thick skinned lol....Hugs

Duke Beaufort February 4, 2024 at 6:30 AM I read this before, but there is no shortage of insensitive criticism in relationships. We're supposed to learn tolerance and understanding in kindergarten, but many never do. I have read many of your comments and love the kindness with which you respond to poets who are here. You embody the philosophy of the site and make it a pleasure to be here.

Vijay Pandit February 4, 2024 at 4:47 AM Great advice my friend when swimming with sharks--Decline the pedestal they place on your feet--Stay clear from those who act like a spirit thief...

Bill Baker February 3, 2024 at 10:19 PM An intriguing poetic form, Silent One. Well-written to from and advice that is fueled by experience and wisdom. It's hard sometimes to be discerning when considering the intents and motivations of others in relationships. It's a fine line between discerning and judging. If I feel a draining effect when I'm around someone I try to graceful leave the situation. When it's online it is ten times as hard because of deception and disinformation. Thanks for sharing this important topic. A FAV!

Charles Messina February 3, 2024 at 7:45 PM Just be careful how much chum you feed the frenemy sharks, the more you feed them the more they'll eat. Great write, SO. Relatable.

Susan Manley February 3, 2024 at 6:30 PM I sometimes think life is like tea. Its what we put into it that colors it and gives it its taste. That includes acquaintances as well as experiences. Love the poem.

Evelyn Judy Buehler February 3, 2024 at 5:17 PM Wonderfully written, and so very wise. Life is too short to have such people in your life. Have a nice weekend. :)

Darlene De Beaulieu February 3, 2024 at 3:15 PM Hello Silent One, I like the line - judgement trolls in deceptive double standards. When pointing a finger no one really wins. I like these lines in your poem. enjoy your weekend my friend. /Darlene/

Deb M February 3, 2024 at 12:57 PM Love this Mr S….l certainly can relate to it also! Not nice…..beautifully said! Debx

David Kavanagh February 3, 2024 at 12:32 PM A lot of truth in this one S1, and a very nice form too, I particularly like the line, Decline the pedestal they place on your feet, I would also add the halo as well, A sad indictment of mankind, but brutally honest nonetheless, cheers David

Duke Beaufort February 3, 2024 at 11:32 AM Funny how we have ideas that get lost and reappear. Those are things we think about for a while. I started carrying a notepad to try to prevent some of this loss. The thoughts we have are sometimes so very confusing. I think all relationships get plagued by what you describe. How we handle these attacks is not so easy or simple in terms of our feelings and understanding.

Stephan McBride February 3, 2024 at 10:59 AM Amazing how you can pick a form of poetry and put this together within its form, you have the ability to write about all matters, in such an elegant way Stephan McBride February 4, 2024 at 9:33 AM Really a great understanding of this world, churches against most except in their group, people against the people in the church, neverending battle getting no where, until we see none are good and need God's spirit within to create within a new being, that loves all , One spirit bringing Unity, but mankind rejects it, Jesus said if they reject Moses and prophets that will reject even when One raised from the dead, just an option to think about, love you all : )

Ink Empress February 3, 2024 at 10:52 AM Ah one of those poems that hit home for me. And i agree one should always beware of those sharks, energy thieves, and frenemies ive had so many, but i guess as time goes by we learn to not let deceptive masks fool you but still being the naive one i still fall for that. Aquarium metaphor is brilliant. Which shows how one feels like they are caged and also being watched! Thats clever! And i love the rhymes too in this. You should do this form more often as you are good with rhymes and you do th Ink Empress February 3, 2024 at 10:53 AM Them so effortlessly! I felt the opening lines the most as we live in a world that is both judgmental and is ready to place labels when one sins differently to how they sin. And i love “ sharks will bite your flesh then leave you abandoned. Scars will bleed with pain making you feel brittle,” just brilliant and soul hitting! Powerful poem this is! Pleasure reading your work as always

Daniel Henry Rodgers February 3, 2024 at 10:24 AM Dearest Silent One, You delve into the complexities of judgment and deceit with extraordinary eloquence and depth. The ottava rima structure enhances the impact of your message, highlighting the cyclical nature of societal attitudes. Your master poetic words are riffed with honesty and resilience, urging us to find strength in self-belief amid adversity. I feel honored to be one of the first to read and comment. Blessings, My Friend! - Daniel