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Swap Headaches For Dragons

At ten o’clock each morning, the Barley Tavern opens up its door, and every now and then I saunter down, just making sure, that Ken the barman hasn’t slept in, so he might need a call, to satisfy those with the D.T.’s with their backs against the wall. There was Cec who had some problem that gave him a raging thirst, and Pud an ex-trucker that from the grog was surely cursed, as was Mal the one time hero of the Tavern’s hookey class, but at ten o’clock on week days, they all hold a shaking glass. Although once that first beer hits the lips, life is all brand new, so with steady hands and addled brains they hop in for a few, and give some cheek to Granny Smith, the Barley Tavern’s kitchen staff, who likes to get into mischief, as long as it gives here a laugh. Granny’s trained to live upon her wits as pub cooks mostly are, once boozing tongues are loosened up from smart Alecs at the bar, and I chuckled at the comments that were thrown by Pud and Cec, but Granny didn’t seem herself today, in fact she looked a mess. Her hair looked like it needed brushing, and her eyes were glassy too. She wore a frown upon her face, and I’d say she’s had a few. I must admit that I was worried; Granny’s usually carefree, so when she staggered to the kitchen, she needed my therapy. But before I had a chance to help her, a young bloke stepped inside . He was panicking I tell you, before with me he did confide. “My Grandma works somewhere in here,” and held up her headache pills. “She’s picked up the wrong pill bottle!” Granny’s grandson loudly shrills. I calmed the lad down just a mite, and I led him from the bar, and found Granny in the kitchen who’d took up a boxing spar. “Gran! Gran!” the kid yelled out, “those pills you took from home are mine!” But Granny Smith just threw a left, and yelled “get out you flamin’ swine!” “Now Gran” her grandson added, “Will you hand back those pills to me. I’ve written on the label with a texta, the letters L-S-D.” I nearly had a heart attack, and Granny uttered quite bazaar, “Stuff your bloody pills young man- chase out the dragons in the bar!”

Copyright © | Year Posted 2020




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Date: 5/7/2020 10:04:00 AM
Such an intriguing title, Lindsay: You always manage that surprise ending with such aplomb. Loved it. SuZ
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 5/15/2020 9:10:00 PM
Hello Suzanne … I've never experienced hallucinations, but then again I've never, well apart from alcohol, taken drugs that cause the effect. Thank you again for your positive comment Suzanne - Lindsay
Date: 4/24/2020 6:05:00 AM
Great poem. This is sad but true. So many people have dragons in their lives with alcohol and drugs it is taking our young people at an alarming rate. I hope you have a great day.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/30/2020 11:51:00 PM
Hello Bette … it's a sad generation isn't it. I hope and pray, and I'm sure there is, enough young people putting their lives into making the world a better place - stay safe Bette - Lindsay
Date: 4/23/2020 9:11:00 AM
A tough granny - and an adventurous grandson! I wonder if granny will find out where he keeps them and so have a constant supply and many more hallucinations! Wonderful poetry Lindsay, Blessings, Jennifer.
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/30/2020 11:48:00 PM
G'day Jennifer … I'd much prefer granny to grab him by the scruff of the neck and shaking some sense into him, but alas, the young have different adventures these days - thank you once again Jennifer - Lindsay
Date: 4/13/2020 1:55:00 PM
Prescription LSD, no doubt for Granny!... Only the best! Smiles, Gershon
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/13/2020 6:42:00 PM
OF course Gershon. There was no real danger here except perhaps for the grandson once Gran came down from the clouds - thanks Gershon - Lindsay
Date: 4/11/2020 6:48:00 AM
Very funny. Kind wishes, Kai
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/13/2020 6:39:00 PM
Hello Kai … thanks for dropping by and I'm pleased you got a giggle out of this situation - stay safe Kai - Lindsay
Date: 4/9/2020 8:11:00 AM
Thank you for the entertainment, Lindsay:) Can't help laughing at the mental picture of poor Gran! ~ Hope you're keeping well...and safe! // paul
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/13/2020 6:36:00 PM
Hello Paul … yes, Gran would possibly seen having a new experience. We are abiding the safety rules Paul as we try to keep out of harms way. I trust you're keeping safe and well also - Lindsay
Date: 4/7/2020 12:28:00 PM
Enjoyed this funny story and needed a laugh. Gran was having an experience with the dragons. lol love phyl
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/13/2020 6:25:00 PM
Pleased you enjoyed Gran's adventure. Thankfully I've never had that experience with hallucinating - thanks Phyllis - Lindsay
Date: 4/6/2020 1:42:00 PM
Thanks for the laughs, mate! Granny Smith was the apple of my eye! Aloha! Rico
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Lindsay Laurie
Date: 4/13/2020 6:23:00 PM
It's a pleasure Rico. Yes, old Granny Smith has won her way into my heart at times, especially in pies - thanks Rico - Lindsay

Book: Shattered Sighs