Triny Xiang Poet Free verse

Surviving co-dependence

I’m done with co-dependence or so I say
I’ve burnt so many effigies for others
I’m the giver in my codependency
The taker burns all my oxygen 
She used to grant just a puff to breathe
Her flame used to light up this scarecrow
Marvel at how a selfless breath ignites
Like burning man sweating gasoline

This burning man has to stop combustion
Radical self-expression must break it
The man who is a caretaker but for himself
The taker who needs others to care
Both with a hole in their chest 
Born from a childhood interrupted
Stop running around looking for a match
Perhaps the match won’t look for straws

The giver parents others but not himself
The taker remains a hungry child
Only unconditional love will quiet children
Both with gaping mouths unfed a lifetime
Only love will feed their hunger
Stop the semaphore crying SOS
Stop fulfilling others when empty
Stop selling my heart for pennies

I am a beacon for the takers
I now cover my lighthouse
I could say light does not draw moths
But they see the sun through my hole
I hunger for someone’s cork
I wait for a blackout from a storm
That would be running from my post
Effigies tell me abandonment does no good

I could say that I’m done burning my Man
Co-dependence is natural as survival
Parasitic or symbiotic is the key to life
The best is mutualism for both parties
If parameciums can do it with algae
Why can’t I be fit to exist?
I’ll hide this giving heart
Till I find one worthy to depend upon

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I Am Anaya May 12, 2024 at 9:34 AM We take on these roles stemming from our insecurities it seems, is it our nature? We can forever write about unrequited love as a yearning heroine princess trope in a fairy tale who relies on her innate ability to adapt to new situations to survive or transform into someone who no longer needs to be rescued, a journey in which one evolves into an independent woman, a beautiful thing. The last stanza pure, raw with undertones why enable the taker? Great poetry, compelling ~Anaya Triny Xiang May 12, 2024 at 7:39 PM Thank you. May our insecurities be rocket fuel or the kiss by a charming one to lift us out of our glass coffins. I think those with unhappy childhoods are like a lone magnolia blooming in July.

Silent One May 12, 2024 at 8:36 AM Your poem delves deep into the complexities of co-dependency, exploring the dynamics of giving and taking, selflessness and self-preservation, and the search for unconditional love and fulfilment. It grapples with their role as both giver and taker in relationships, recognizing the toll it takes on their own well-being. The metaphor of burning effigies for others vividly captures the sacrifice and depletion experienced in their codependent relationships, where their own needs are often neglected in favor of others' Silent One May 13, 2024 at 12:16 PM I just read I guess... thank you.. Triny Xiang May 12, 2024 at 7:34 PM Hi SO. How do you do it? You distill my ramblings into a coherent whole. I am amazed at your power of intuition. But if I had your eyes, I wouldn't need to stumble for words. Thank you.