Sunsets

I love you. It pains me all so much, that I could never speak these words, to her. She is one, aware of all my hurt, chose to desert and put the joy of other’s first. Hers included. I am selfish. I am one, that keeps a constant fight. As if she’s my one and only life and I to her a passing thought, across her lonely mind. I find it hard to bare, she does not share, the same desire, or care, for us to grow old, hand in hand and together retire. I miss her. Talking about my pain, love and anger, would dry all the ink and she still would not answer. Sometimes I fear, she hides from danger, her heart crying, over shame I would not cast. Perhaps, she feels at home, where I am past. At last, I believe, my love, turned grief. For how brief was our forever, stolen from a thief. How badly, I want to hold her, but she chose a path I believe, is not for me. How sad, she knew I’d be gone forever, oh, she let me flee. I love you. That much, I had the need to say. Perhaps that phrase, would change one day. Perhaps, the pain that poisoned me, would fade away, but I know, you can’t force a love, that did not choose to stay. I no longer can, wait for the arms of time, to carry my wounded mind, across the line, where you would be mine. I do find, that you place your comfort in the fact, that despite all my words, I kept coming back. A fool, that loved you all too much and then went mad? All the advice, of those who act nice, could not sacrifice, your own paradise. None of those smiles, that whisper wise, do not know, this is me, a man you love, my mind. I could not change, if I wanted to. My pain’s real and you suffered too. But I appealed, to the hurt in you, let us be forever, let them all fall through. Let it be a world, where it is only you and me. Where we can be, free. Let all of our wounds heal. Let us grow. Bloom. Happy. Calm. Words we know the meaning of, but never called our home. And so I begin, to see a landscape so grim, where I’ve grown apart, into a life of sin. The walls between the world’s are thin and my whispers, spread and burned my skin. So I begin to rot from within. Catch me while I’m falling in. Hold me tight, don’t let them win, stop the winds, my lights are dim. I love you. But love is not everything, I learned that from you. Run, before the sun is low. Scream before the dark can fall, as you will then look again and you won’t find your home.