Home » Poems » Sajdah Al-Riyami » Sunburnt... **peeling***

Sunburnt... peeling*

I see the waves face each other in anger of falling tears Then they collide into one another to fight But end up making love in the peace sun Why cant i make peace in the sun? Why cant i forgive the forgotten? Why cant i forget the forgiven? The hardest thing in my life is to shed my tears infront of all And yet here i am not caring Shedding them out Its like a puddle of what i thought is my own blood But my blood still floods my insides Its my heart im shedding Is this forgetting the forgiven? But i place my hand on my cheecks The back of it used as a tissue And i look at my hands and see it peeled Am i forgiving the forgotten? (I dunno wheather i should enter this into sheeding your skin contest.I need at some enthusiasm.Let me know if i shouldn't or mawb change it or just keep it this way and enter it.Thanx to all=) )

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Hyle Chu

Date: 8/7/2009 2:39:00 PM

Snakes shed their skins when it gets too tight. When it bothers you, you get rid of it. Seems like the way we should do things, "And yet here I am not caring / Shedding them out". It's not easy to let go. I think I get your idea here. "...waves face each other in anger...", it seems like you're talking about a past conflict. Seems like the whole poem is about shedding or not shedding. "To be or not to be". If that's the message you want, then keep it. If it's not, then change it.

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Date: 8/7/2009 1:31:00 AM

Sajdah, Your fourth stanza asks an interesting question. I can relate to this poem because there was a time in my life that I felt so hurt, but could not cry. I just could not cry at all. I didn't even know why. But for some unknown reason, I hurt... So, being able to cry again was like getting back part of myself. I don't think I'll ever understand it. But I know that being able to cry is necessary for happiness. This poem seems to shed that closed down protected part of oneself. Good.

Jessica Arteaga

Date: 8/5/2009 2:23:00 PM

yeah you should! I want to enter too but i don't feel it yet if you know what i mean lol