Suicide Killer

I saw my dreams disappear and my nightmares become realer It's a losing battle because there's no winning with your emotions Your tears fall and next thing you're swimming in the ocean I swam around my demons, to murder my suicidal thoughts, so I'm the suicide killer For a while I've been in a bad place I can fake a smile, but it doesn't hide the fact my mind was in a sad state I had constant thoughts of suicide and hurting myself Made to feel like I wasn't deserving of help So I never asked, I hid away with my demons Opened the door, then Anxiety laughed and said you're not leaving You wouldn't understand if you've never woke in cold sweats from a nightmare screaming I'm moving forward but I've got old wounds that are still bleeding My heart got colder, the more I went through I learned you have to fight through obstacles even if they dent you Heartbreak comes again and again so what would I heal for? I'm just saying that because some of the pain is still raw I put so much personal stuff in my poetry, maybe I'm wrong for this Maybe I should hide my emotions,maybe my pain doesn't belong in this But I'd rather share my thoughts to survive than take my own life My happy ending isn't here yet, but I'm going to fight for it, so I'm going to make it home tonight I saw my dreams disappear and my nightmares become realer It's a losing battle because there's no winning with your emotions Your tears fall and next thing you're swimming in the ocean I swam around my demons, to murder my suicidal thoughts, so I'm the suicide killer