Stupor

clouded by
careless bravado
i say 
too much
this good night

clouds have gone 
and I am
in the spotlight
of moon shine

loose lips
break the silence

but no one hears
the confession 
of a fool
intoxicated
under 
the influence
of you

funnylost lovelovefree verse

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Linda-Marie Sweetheart

April 1, 2011 at 9:07 AM

Breathless and breathtaking expression of one in luv.. Hai.. it is a joy to read your lines and absorb their meaning luv.. hope u enjoy a happy weekend with luv..

Royal Trevino

September 20, 2010 at 11:27 AM

Nice, "intoxicated" love the last stanza, enjoyed your write, =(^.^)=Royal

Doris Culverhouse

September 11, 2010 at 6:33 PM

SOUNDS LIKE A DREAMY NIGHT! oh by the way...I worked on lion's den see if it makes sense.

Kristi Hayner

September 9, 2010 at 6:13 AM

Don't you just love being "under the influence"? Thanks for writing and sharing, Hai Au Chu.

Kabuteng P.Ink K.

September 8, 2010 at 12:30 AM

Enjoyed your take on "stupor" with this write of yours-- made me smile--clever play on moonshine and intoxicate over here as well... just a typo for "bravado"-- hope this helps-- I sure am enjoying reading your poems :) -- nikko :)

Amy Green

March 16, 2010 at 10:29 AM

Yes... All I can write.

Carolyn Devonshire

March 3, 2010 at 3:42 PM

How romantic! Great use of imagery too, Hai. Enjoyed reading your poem. Love, Carolyn

Andrea Dietrich

March 2, 2010 at 12:27 PM

VEry interesting and enjoyable little free verse poem, (Hai, is it?) I hope to see more from you! andrea

Susan Palli

March 2, 2010 at 4:16 AM

Loved it!

Yoni Dvorkis

February 28, 2010 at 6:15 PM

Sounds like moon shine isn't the only drug the subject is on. For me the last line hints at a memory of someone else that led to the intoxication in the first place. I like the tone and delivery. I'll have to imagine what his confession may be. thanks for sharing. Yoni

Margaret Foster

February 27, 2010 at 7:09 PM

I like the careless bravado and the intoxication by another. Good imagery of someone infatuated perhaps. well written Hai . thank you for reading and commenting on my 'Chill out" I am pleased it made you smile, can't take life to seriously all the time :) cheers Margaret