Home » Poems » Jack Ellison » Strange But True

Strange But True

The average person laughs 13 times a day I laugh a lot more often than that In fact I probably hold the world record Maybe three or four times that in fact A katydid hears through holes in its hind legs You really must be trying to jazz me What kind of dribble is that, you silly billy A few bricks short of a load, I see In Tokyo, apparently they sell toupees for dogs Wonder if lady dogs wear padded bras Didn't know doggies had an image problem If you've seen one you've seen 'em all There are more plastic flamingos in the United States Than real ones, surely you jest If you'd said more plastic people existed than real Without doubt, I surely would've guessed We North Americans average 600 sodas a year With an average of 4 burps per can That sure seems like a lot of foul smelling air About 2,400 burps in a one year span Collectively we eat 100 pounds of chocolate a second That is surely like paradise divine In 32 years, there are about one billion seconds No wonder I'm so damn tired all the time A company in Taiwan makes dinnerware out of wheat So we can eat our plates when we're done Charles Osborne had hiccups for more than 69 years I'd go loopy, I'd just about come undone A cockroach can live weeks with its head cut off It dies from starvation, big surprise 10,000 birds die each year smashing into windows Seems they have pretty poor eyes