Notes About The Poem

Stranded

My long train journey late at night I take this route each day, With heavy eyes I gently doze The engine chugs away. Suddenly there is a judder, the train’s brakes are applied. Roof lights flicker; they slowly fade - it’s now a scary ride! My heart is pounding like a drum I try to remain calm. The engine driver’s message says there’s no cause for alarm. We’re stuck in the carriage for hours; my cell phone gives us light. Engineers work to fix the train we’re stuck until midnight! The main thing everyone is safe; our journey was delayed. I’d used my phone to call my mum so her nerves were not frayed! Stuck Contest Sponsored by Sara Kendrick Form Poulter’s Measure 8,6,8,6 checked with how many syllables. 09-23-17
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Haight Avatar
September 29, 2017 at 10:49 AM
I enjoyed your poem, Jan! Congratulation on your fine podium win. Hugs, Sandra
Allison Avatar
October 19, 2017 at 11:56 AM
Thanks Sandra:-) hugs jan xx
Webster Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 3:02 PM
Congratulations, Jan!
Allison Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 3:07 PM
Thanks Jack:-) hugs Jan xx
Kendrick Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 8:36 AM
I was delighted to see your work in my winners’ list..I enjoyed reading the work of an outstanding poet..Your participation was much appreciated..You wrote with very good flow, rhyme and rhythm..You stayed on topic..Love the picture of Thomas The Tank Engine..LOL,,Sara
Allison Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 3:07 PM
Thanks so much Sara:-) the Thomas the Tank picture took me back to my son's childhood but also there is a connection with our Island as our Bishop is known as the Bishop of Sodor and Man and Thomas is based on a fictional place called the island of Sodor:-) hugs Jan xx
Inman Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 8:02 AM
Nice of you to think of your mother but I'll bet your nerves would be a bit frayed if it actually happened to you. Well written Jan.
Allison Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 10:27 AM
I have only ever had one fraught journey when i was about 20 and was in a carriage with a strange guy who obviously had a foot fetish and he wanted to touch my shoes - i got off at the next station it was a horrid experience!:-( hugs jan xx
Tor Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 5:42 PM
That happened to me going to California on an Amtrak train. I can relate Jan congratulations on your win.
Allison Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 10:25 AM
Oh gosh Michael that must have been a fraught journey. i am glad my poem was just pure fiction:-) hugs jan xx
La France Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 4:50 PM
Jan, wonderful write, that would be so scary, congrats on your win !
Allison Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 4:56 PM
Thanks Constance thankfully its just a fiction write for me:-) hugs Jan xx
Canerdy Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 1:23 PM
Good write, Jan. Congrats on your win. Janice
Allison Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 4:55 PM
Thanks Janice:-) hugs Jan xx
Cozart Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 12:45 PM
Congrats, Jan!
Allison Avatar
September 27, 2017 at 4:54 PM
Many thanks Dale:-) hugs Jan xx
Vaso Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 8:44 PM
Very nice, a beautiful poem, but also one that could be read to children, I loved the photo you chose to go with it!
Allison Avatar
September 25, 2017 at 10:53 AM
Thanks so much for dropping by Arthur:-) Thomas the tank Engine has links to the IOM as our Bishop is known as the Bishop of Sodor and Man:-) hugs jan xx
Sivey Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 9:06 AM
I agree with Joyce that your third stanza is the best of all of them, it came together very nicely and flows awesome! You whole write is tremendous my friend! I really enjoyed reading every line of your lovely poem this morning! What a fabulous piece, Great Work!!
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 9:10 AM
Thanks so much for your Russell:-) it was quite a challenge to write as the rhyme and syllable count are quite restrictive and I personally like the third stanza the best. I may try and rework some of the other lines to flow better if I have time before the contest closes:-) hugs jan xx
Roper Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 9:41 PM
nicely done, Jan, I love the feel and the action you've given your poem. Luck in the contest. Hugs Eve ~`*
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 3:07 AM
Thanks so much Eve:-) hugs jan xx
Duet Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 8:48 PM
Don't you just "hate when that happens"? And, the hardest thing to do IMO is to wait, and wait and wait. Perfect descriptive poem of that very frustration.
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 3:06 AM
Thankfully its pure fiction for me Carole:-) hugs jan xx
Ashley Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 8:15 PM
An awesome write Jan! Very realistic depiction even though your comment below says it's fiction. Great imagery. Good luck in the contest! :)
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 3:06 AM
Yes pure fiction for the contest. i would hate to be stuck in the dark and isolated for any lenght of time:-( hugs jan xx
Murray Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 3:53 PM
I thought it was going to turn Halloween scary Jan. Glad to see they all got home safe.
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 3:05 AM
Just fiction for the contest jean:-) hugs jan xx
Lane Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 2:02 PM
and leave it to you to use a cartoon picture to write about a train wreck. lol Loved it.
Allison Avatar
September 24, 2017 at 3:04 AM
Oh got to get a bit of Thomas the tank Engine in as it has a link to the IOM as our Bishop is known as the Bishop of Sodor and Man:-)It's said the books were inspired by our steam railway hugs Jan xx
Smith Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 9:58 AM
Great Jan...happy you weren't hurt
Allison Avatar
September 23, 2017 at 12:51 PM
Pure fiction for contest.. the pic took me back to my son's childhood he LOVED Thomas the tank Engine:-) We have no regular night trains here on the steam railway although they do special events where food is served... we had breakfast with friends earlier this year that was great fun!:-) hugs jan xx
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace