Storm Clouds

My emotions swarm, clouding all rational judgement. My pain is a storm in my heart, my suffering the rain that pours down. I wish tears to fall, to release a part of my agony, but no. My body betrays me. I am a burden to myself, and those around me. Just useless garbage, nobody needs me. I try to regain logic, I try and push past the storm. I reach out to my phone, but don’t even get as far as turning it on before the winds pull me back again. My heart is past logic, all that remains are twisted rationalizations. It takes all the willpower I have to remain where I am. I pull my knees to my chest and tremble in fear of myself. I will the storm to pass, to settle down for at least a little while, but it rages on, pulling me down with it. Even the next morning the storm will remain. Dark clouds shadow my heart, though the rain will have ceased. The storm is my endless battle, one that will never clear away. I often dream of blue skies, and true happiness and I realize that I do not know how.I have become so used to the storm in my heart, that I could not live without it! I act and pretend so much that I have started to believe my own lies.