State of Mind

How I do spiral to the depths of devastation, self involved and opposed. Coiled up as a serpent eager to shed what was once a smile behind closed doors. On the other side I lie vulnerable… Desperate to impress, caress what rises with the sun. I realize each day is not the same… minds over matter, matters over heart and heart over unnatural hope, hope for which sees time standing still. Am I brave in what I say or are my words just a puzzle to others? How diverse is a mind that it knows only itself? I stop to take a drag of my cigarette as I look at the night sky, trying to imagine each mind being their own… perhaps we all do really live alone. Upstairs I hear the knocking, shocking thoughts, opinions verse ideas creating myself each day I open my eyes yet wondering who I am amongst what I create. I sit alone… cursed with the state of my own mind, yet infatuated with the idea of being creative. Am I free to be inspired or am I bound by that I aspire to be? I wrap my arms around myself believing my own love is possible. Amongst “perfection” I find comfort in all the obscurity… Simple or obscene…it’s just a thought, forever my state of mind.