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Spring Into Haiku

mountain field aglow
palettes strewn as spring desires-
random perfection

"Spring into Haiku" Contest
-30 Apr 2014-

flowermountainshaiku

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Dr.Ram Mehta

May 16, 2014 at 9:13 PM

Great haiku. Congratulations on the win, david

Debbie Guzzi

May 16, 2014 at 8:28 PM

Your lines 1 & 2 don't connect grammatically so you have 3 parts you needed 2 ;) ex: [the mountain field's/aglow with wildflowers-] random perfection is a mental construct you need something concrete sensory; you will get it I'm sure!! Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

David Mohn

May 16, 2014 at 8:49 PM

Thanks for the input Debbie. I did see the lack of "objectivity" in the 3rd line but missed the disconnect with the first 2...appreciate the comments