Get Your Premium Membership

Splintered Along the Horizon...

my eyes meet up with yours as we walk the swans flying form a heart as they flock we jump holding hands off the edge of the dock the summer water is a refreshing as can be swimming together out to the old rock as the sunset shatters into the sea getting closer as the day starts to disappear for warmth and to ease your constant fears water slowly dripping off us like little tears I’m so damn happy to be here and so is she nothing all around us not even the pier as the sunset shatters into the sea “I love you” is done without being said the sky around us is changing red holding each other close in our water bed like birds leaving a cage we are now free breaking the halo that once sat on her head as the sunset shatters into the sea the rock is like a mountain above the skies watching the waves of life quickly pass us by the scroll of childhood unrolls before my eyes locking up my youth and throwing away the key understand now that time really flies as the sunset shatters into the sea

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 1/18/2009 1:01:00 PM
This is nicely measured out, giving it a good, musical flow. i like the use of rhyme and near-rhyme. The 'o' sound is used quite a lot in stanzas 3 and 4 giving them a sort of hymne-like feel, whilst the 'e' sounds are very much to the fore in the first two, profiding an earthliness. The contrasts work very well indeed. I am not convinced by the last line. I think the word 'shatters' doresn't feel right. Maybe that is just me and I need to read it again.
Login to Reply

Book: Reflection on the Important Things