Some Words Scribbled On Scrapp and Yes Yet Another Mind Trap

So I’m caught red handed in another lie
I thought you believed me on everything
But it’s clear that you just found safety in routine 
And I’ve caught on to your shameful smiles
And all your “I’ll be out in a little while”
As your crying, sighing alone, dying on the inside a bit alone

I spend hours (just scrub and scrub but this blood won’t come off)
It just won’t peal itself from my skin 
It soaked in 
It stains and remains 
Exclaiming “I know”
I try to slow my breathing but that’s just like teasing
I can’t explain my reasoning 
I dare not leak what I’m thinking
Because if I was to you’d come to fear blinking

This won’t be the same she swears
Glances over to him she watches as he tares at himself silently
“He runs he hides from the pain that never subsides
And he lies 
Oh, he lies
Fooling everyone but himself
The truth is so skewed
He’s left knowing there’s nothing left to do but lose
It’s disheartening to see him bartering cleverly
Desperately trying to level with me”

So baby you know that I have to tell you something you already know
Here goes a tale of melancholy 
This will be a adverse disillusion of all the ways I’ve been using love
I’m a moon lit lake with a fake calm 
This is harder than you know doll
And the water calls with tranquility 
It’s rippling to be sweet killing me 
I’m singing to the lake in hopes that I’ll replace
My heart kept in a crate of some ribs
My lips open and close like majestic gates
And my tongue gives off a sickly sweet melody
I’m a felony waiting to happen
Slapping myself, preying that might be of service as I’m snapping back to reality
so how did we forget all those nights spent talking

One moment please, I have to finish chalking my outline
Sorry baby I’m just trying to save time
Because I’m going to climb ‘till the air is to thin to breath 
I’ve decided I want to die like in a dream
I’m just a bad disease 
I’ve infected many and few 
I killed before they knew I was there
Seventy seven feet I can almost touch heaven

So Reverend won’t you cue the organ
Play a little hymn because I’m giving into temptation (Such a burning sensation)
And I’m unlacing my fingers
Time to begin my glide with knuckles tied 
I ride the tide of the breeze
This boy dies like in a dream
Falling faster, Calling louder, I won’t flounder
I won’t wake up before the end of this fall 
I’ll just wither and die like a flower in fall
Copyright © | Year Posted 2006

Poem

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