Soliloquy of a Pierrot

without warning, one day, i shall close my eyes,
i wonder, in that moment, i will say “indeed i lived a good life,” 
or i may say “i lived my unpropitious life shoved and dragged 
by the power i have no control over it.”

if it’s to say that one who survived through 
his given days is already praiseworthy by itself, 
i should, at least, accept my last moment open armed 
with a smile on my face,
 
however, my worry is that if i can smile at that moment or not
because i saw too many horrible things throughout my troubled life, 
because i underwent so many harsh trials that broke my back,

are all these negative notions coming from my narrow-mindedness,
or from a shallow view, or caused from my disagreeable attitude?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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