So This Is...

eyes hurt but cant stop moving clicking fingers send letters sprawling across too-bright screen knew it would be like this tonight nothing to do but wish someone was here to be awake with me in three hours it will be a full day without sleep sleep sleep dont need sleep and conversations had at 5 o'clock in the morning only end in the tears i've been trying to keep back for the past 2 hours and hurtful words start to pull me into their riptide as the sun gets farther from setting closer to rising never see this coming happiness vanishes in an instant and loneliness creeps in to fill the cracks between the shattered panes of my glass heart and this poem is my mind now at its most sparse and blunt also lyrical and melodramatic fragmented, slightly askew and lyrics from a childhood never lived come to haunt in this drawn-out witching hour "(night lights the room) day comes to break (my eyes fight the moon) too much at stake (too dark/bright to consume) and i find out too soon i'm still awake" i want sleep but fear fills at the thought of closing eyes and surrendering consciousness don't want there to be a next day so this one won't end i'll activate and reactivate memory-inducing tendencies while words across room grow blurry and i stop caring about discomfort want to call but afraid i'll feel the worse for waking he who can sleep and sleep soundly and i don't know what i'd say if i called anyway this is my head i have no more inside while what is inside has no way to get out headaches do not help insomnia.