So This Is...
eyes hurt
but cant stop moving
clicking fingers
send letters sprawling across
too-bright screen
knew it would be like this
tonight
nothing to do
but wish someone was here
to be awake with me
in three hours
it will be a full day without sleep
sleep
sleep
dont need sleep
and conversations had
at 5 o'clock in the morning
only end in the tears
i've been trying to keep back
for the past 2 hours
and hurtful words
start to pull me
into their riptide
as the sun gets
farther from setting
closer to rising
never see this coming
happiness vanishes in an instant
and loneliness creeps in
to fill the cracks
between the shattered
panes of my glass heart
and this poem is
my mind now
at its most sparse and blunt
also lyrical and melodramatic
fragmented, slightly askew
and lyrics from a childhood
never lived
come to haunt
in this drawn-out witching hour
"(night lights the room)
day comes to break
(my eyes fight the moon)
too much at stake
(too dark/bright to consume)
and i find out too soon
i'm still awake"
i
want
sleep
but fear fills
at the thought
of closing eyes
and surrendering consciousness
don't want there to be a next day
so this one won't end
i'll activate
and reactivate
memory-inducing tendencies
while words across room grow blurry
and i stop caring about discomfort
want to call
but afraid
i'll feel the worse for waking
he who can sleep
and sleep soundly
and i don't know what i'd say
if i called
anyway
this is my head
i have no more inside
while what is inside
has no way to get out
headaches do not help
insomnia.
Copyright © Allison Kinzy | Year Posted 2007
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