Smokescreen

11/6/22 Still I struggle to find the words As I fight the urge I'll either go under a tidal surge Or make it out in the end I might emerge Everyday, I've been getting carried away Just putting myself closer to the stairway Still they judge how dare they Whatever happened to the concept of fairplay? Down a path full of oak leaves It's unclear where this road leads Since it's still hidden behind a smokescreen For my own needs Always I go to the extreme Still trying to be recruited by both teams To it all I don't agree I'm just trying to keep my nose clean Continually I dig myself into a hole And lose control Slipping through the palm of my hand It's all bad Something people laugh at or call sad Getting paid to clean up dog s*** It's no plot twist Very little I've accomplished This world's cold, I'm frostbit Always I got lit Putting something in my body that's toxic The drink and drugs constant I struggle to stop it The problems could not fix In the heart feels like I got shot with Another bullet where it lodged and sits I know that Life can come with blowback Due to our own acts Can't just solve it with a glass of Cognac Been years since I kissed or cried No different this time Look me in the eye I admit I Always get high From the truth I'm not one bit shy Does no good to just sit by At that rate you will be quick to fry Especially if you always let s*** fly These are rules to live by Far from coy or slick With others people still toy with I apologize If I have been a disappointment Living life like it's just for enjoyment Often I exploited Instead of it being avoided That was destroyed quick By one button on a joystick Continually the cash reeled in and coins flipped Yet I was the downfall but no fingers need to be pointed I just can't settle now Continually with my mom I let her down I struggle yet still mess around It all makes me less than proud All these devils and clowns Across uneven surfaces far from ever being level ground It started with several hounds Now it's hundreds, you'd think with animals I've made a special vow