Slowly

The entire time we spent
Searching through ruins and sands
For a reason or just
An answer that would
Allow us to sleep
But the rain
Didn't come to save us from
The demon's song
So we flew through 
A mirror paved of hopes
Shattered as past times

They're dancing until the afterworld 
Hidden from the eye of a bourgeois jar
In the hayloft they dug a hole 
Your mudcheeks are smiling like never before

Slowly you're losing something you had to fight for
Something is getting lost
Slowly you're turning flowers into shards of glass
Swallow your pain 
Slowly we're withering into gravestones

After the number eight
Only comes the infinite
To lead you astray
And leave you with nothing at all
Now it's gone 
Your hands can't grasp what 
Your eyes can't see
A barren land was then filled
With dreams of days to come.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 12/20/2016 10:40:00 AM
Loris, Welcome to Poetry soup, I hope you enjoy the community. Here, you will find friendly poets who enjoy supporting one another. I myself, enjoy reading and commenting those who want to be read. The only time I give constructive criticism is when a poet desires it. However, if for some reason the poem is not my field I will guide you to someone who is more qualified than I. Stop by and read one of my poems if you like. My poems are not perfect, but I have a feeling you might like one. I encourage you to check out the contest page and read to receive comments. Tell me a little about your poetic skills if you like. It will be my pleasure to follow and read every poem you post from here on :) We are Lucky To Have you. Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@
Login to Reply
Palmitesta Avatar
Loris Palmitesta
Date: 12/21/2016 7:48:00 AM
Hi linda, thank you so much for welcoming, i really appreaciated it. I started writing here because all i'm looking for is constructive critism and other writers to work with. I was actually going to post this one on the forum but something went wrong with the internet, and i couldn't post it anymore. I started to read some of your stuff, but you have so many published that is going to take me a while. Thank you so much again for your kind words, i was not expecting them, so they mean even more to me. I'm really looking for someone to work with on a regular basis, since most of the things i write are for music (like the one above). if you maybe interested or know someone who might be, please, do comment below.
Date: 12/15/2016 4:27:00 PM
Hi loris, I enjoyed your poem. It is full of beautiful imagery, with a little darkness sprinkled in. I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.
Login to Reply
Palmitesta Avatar
Loris Palmitesta
Date: 12/21/2016 7:49:00 AM
Thank you so much Jeff. Your little comment really encouraged me to post and do more here. Keep on the good work, Loris
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter