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slowly

The entire time we spent Searching through ruins and sands For a reason or just An answer that would Allow us to sleep But the rain Didn't come to save us from The demon's song So we flew through A mirror paved of hopes Shattered as past times They're dancing until the afterworld Hidden from the eye of a bourgeois jar In the hayloft they dug a hole Your mudcheeks are smiling like never before Slowly you're losing something you had to fight for Something is getting lost Slowly you're turning flowers into shards of glass Swallow your pain Slowly we're withering into gravestones After the number eight Only comes the infinite To lead you astray And leave you with nothing at all Now it's gone Your hands can't grasp what Your eyes can't see A barren land was then filled With dreams of days to come.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 12/20/2016 10:40:00 AM
Loris, Welcome to Poetry soup, I hope you enjoy the community. Here, you will find friendly poets who enjoy supporting one another. I myself, enjoy reading and commenting those who want to be read. The only time I give constructive criticism is when a poet desires it. However, if for some reason the poem is not my field I will guide you to someone who is more qualified than I. Stop by and read one of my poems if you like. My poems are not perfect, but I have a feeling you might like one. I encourage you to check out the contest page and read to receive comments. Tell me a little about your poetic skills if you like. It will be my pleasure to follow and read every poem you post from here on :) We are Lucky To Have you. Your New Poet Friend @-> LINDA <-@
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loris Palmitesta
Date: 12/21/2016 7:48:00 AM
Hi linda, thank you so much for welcoming, i really appreaciated it. I started writing here because all i'm looking for is constructive critism and other writers to work with. I was actually going to post this one on the forum but something went wrong with the internet, and i couldn't post it anymore. I started to read some of your stuff, but you have so many published that is going to take me a while. Thank you so much again for your kind words, i was not expecting them, so they mean even more to me. I'm really looking for someone to work with on a regular basis, since most of the things i write are for music (like the one above). if you maybe interested or know someone who might be, please, do comment below.
Date: 12/15/2016 4:27:00 PM
Hi loris, I enjoyed your poem. It is full of beautiful imagery, with a little darkness sprinkled in. I look forward to reading more of your poetry in the future.
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loris Palmitesta
Date: 12/21/2016 7:49:00 AM
Thank you so much Jeff. Your little comment really encouraged me to post and do more here. Keep on the good work, Loris