Size Matters
Size Matters
By Jan Beaumont ©
You may have heard size doesn't matter
It depends what you're talking about
I personally think that it matters a lot
Though you may disagree, there's no doubt.
Is quality far more important?
Does quantity matter at all?
If you're one of life's snackers
And love your cream crackers
A decrease in size will appall.
I've got a sweet tooth I'll admit it
A biscuit I love with my tea
But the problem I see here's the shrinkage
Now I have to scoff not one but three!
I love my digestives and hobnobs
Choc'late thins make me flushed with delight
And a gingernut dunk is the ultimate joy
Brings the darkest of mornings alight.
If the size doesn't shrink it's the number
That you now get in every pack
And once they think you haven't noticed
There's certainly no turning back.
And it's not just our bickies and chocolates
Even toothpaste is quarter its size
I have to buy more just to keep my teeth clean
But no cheaper, oh what a surprise!
I like to keep up with the laundry
I enjoy a nice fresh smelling dress
But even detergent has taken a cut
And a packet gives 5 washes less!
And speaking of dresses, my goodness
They're being imported you see
They must be so slim, for an overseas 'Large'
Would certainly never fit ME!
Then to cap it all off there's the loo roll
You get much fewer squares for your buck
We all have to go and its bound to run out
And then, sadly, you're right out of luck!
Now, through eating so many more biscuits
And a big chocolate intake you see
It seems that though most things get smaller
There's one thing that doesn't.
It's me.
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