Size Matters

Size Matters By Jan Beaumont © You may have heard size doesn't matter It depends what you're talking about I personally think that it matters a lot Though you may disagree, there's no doubt. Is quality far more important? Does quantity matter at all? If you're one of life's snackers And love your cream crackers A decrease in size will appall. I've got a sweet tooth I'll admit it A biscuit I love with my tea But the problem I see here's the shrinkage Now I have to scoff not one but three! I love my digestives and hobnobs Choc'late thins make me flushed with delight And a gingernut dunk is the ultimate joy Brings the darkest of mornings alight. If the size doesn't shrink it's the number That you now get in every pack And once they think you haven't noticed There's certainly no turning back. And it's not just our bickies and chocolates Even toothpaste is quarter its size I have to buy more just to keep my teeth clean But no cheaper, oh what a surprise! I like to keep up with the laundry I enjoy a nice fresh smelling dress But even detergent has taken a cut And a packet gives 5 washes less! And speaking of dresses, my goodness They're being imported you see They must be so slim, for an overseas 'Large' Would certainly never fit ME! Then to cap it all off there's the loo roll You get much fewer squares for your buck We all have to go and its bound to run out And then, sadly, you're right out of luck! Now, through eating so many more biscuits And a big chocolate intake you see It seems that though most things get smaller There's one thing that doesn't. It's me.