Sitting There

Sitting there on the wet cold pavement Here is warm solace from a cold bottle Preaching the gospel of the destitute Exploring the vanity of my self defeats Anger leads to harmonious frustrations I’m lying to friends that I don’t really like These strangers who randomly joined me To share confidences and profane insight Tonight there are stories I want to tell you But no one hears my words, silent they are Dreams I once felt, they lightened my heart Now thoughts that pierce with anxiousness Times were so different then today’s now Now was never what I believed would be A path I thought to take went to somewhere Not imagined, leading astray, winding away Quaff the rum and feel the heat in my limbs Numb my ranting and close my blind eyes Silence the mute people who talk of nothing But of failures they embraced to themselves Should I continue to fight for a pyrrhic victory? Own the end of the struggle, defined by the road Or talk about beginnings to start the ending of all Leaving on this trail, is there another path to take These Kinetic forces that define my movements Dancing to fates that hate the songs being sung Music of remorse, harmony of horn’s cacophony The orchestra that’s directed by a fickly conductor Are these choices made ago, set by today’s reality Or can the things that I do now be fixed in the past Is it now time to do the things I want to do tomorrow Can I stop what was begun by not ending the game? The remorse of love not taken, not made, not tried The safety of shelter when nothing is done or risked Words that aren’t said to people who weren’t listening So what is worse, not being who you were not to be? Tonight, I am going to get drunk and explore my faults Laugh at those jokes not told and cry from pains not felt Dream of success not earned and defeats I am proud of Try to be the man I was before I was a man full grown