Simon Cowell's Culinary Critique

Thanks for the average dinner last night It wasn't exactly a culinary delight It wasn't that nice but it wasn't that vile That it made me so sick or bring up some bile It just lacked flavour, finesse or shazam The chops were bland, I think they were lamb The mash was lumpy with minimal seasoning Now please stop crying, with you there's no reasoning I've told you before now I'll tell you again I am the judge of all women and men