Shifting Sands of Crumbled Love

No other choice
        as my shadow schemes in the sand,
      lone cries on lovelorn wings give grief heart’s voice 
        over scorned wedding band.
  
 Sandcastles are crumbled in undertow’s deceit,
  longing and revenge; a million grains ‘neath my feet.
    Avenged by briny blue’s retreat,
  illusions built too closely to tide’s edge rejoice.


Susan Ashley
June 14, 2019


~ Fourth Place ~
Contest: Writing Challenge, June 2019, Crumbling Rhyme Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Dear Heart
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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12
Suzadail Jr. Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 11:52 AM
Impressive. God Bless the poets.
Ashley Avatar
October 3, 2022 at 3:22 PM
Dear Vince, I truly appreciate your gracious visits to a few of my poems today. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your uplifting comments are held in my gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Chiri Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 6:45 PM
Ah my sane sissy simply put......amzazing!;) your words are so beautiful!;)
Ashley Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 8:39 PM
Ah my insane sissy, thank you for gracing my humble poem with your lovely presence. Your awesomeness is always appreciated, my dear sis. Love and hugs always.. the sane one ;)
Foster Avatar
August 30, 2019 at 8:13 AM
tides edge... oh yes... dance right upon the surface of the blade itself. Wow. I love your emotion, or at least I love to hate the strong sadness you have written. Excellent pen. Ann
Ashley Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 8:35 PM
Thank you for your gracious comments, Ann. Your presence is uplifting and your wonderful thoughts are inspiring. I’m so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes always my lovely friend.. ~Susan
Krutsinger Avatar
August 29, 2019 at 10:41 AM
Susan, I am always captivated and intrigued. You have out-classed yourself.
Ashley Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 8:23 PM
Thank you for your inspiring comments, Caren. Your presence is uplifting and always appreciated. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, unfortunately I haven’t been able to be active here lately. I hope all is well with you my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Brenner Avatar
August 29, 2019 at 7:48 AM
Susan!!..You amaze me, this work is short but absolutely sooo…vivid. You always impress my thoughts with your words you write, I'll never get tired of reading the creations you put forth. You know as well as I my writings (some), lol.. are off the wall, but, when I read you, well..you bring my soft side out, that to me is encouragement to write of things on the wall..lol..God Bless you always my dear friend and mentor of keeping a warm heart. ;-)
Ashley Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 8:19 PM
Thank you for your gracious comments and heartwarming visit, Kenneth. Your inspiration is always appreciated. I’m gratified to know that my words reach out and touch your soft side and I’m especially thankful for you taking the time to share your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always my dear and talented friend.. ~Susan
Hopper Avatar
August 28, 2019 at 10:40 AM
Beautiful!
Ashley Avatar
September 3, 2019 at 8:13 PM
Thank you for your inspiring comment and kind visit, Anna. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Gauthier Avatar
August 11, 2019 at 8:24 PM
Beautifully dark, Susan.
Ashley Avatar
August 11, 2019 at 10:07 PM
Thank you, Line, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming visit. Both are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
De Beaulieu Avatar
July 23, 2019 at 5:36 PM
Hello Susan, Oh -I have enjoyed this poem. You out did yourself. have a nice evening my friend.
Ashley Avatar
July 25, 2019 at 8:17 PM
Thank you, Darlene, for your beautiful comments. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. I hope you are having a wonderful evening, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
La France Avatar
June 30, 2019 at 6:38 PM
Susan congratulations on your win in my writing challenge with this wonderful write and sorry for my delay in visiting ~
Ashley Avatar
July 2, 2019 at 6:47 PM
Thank you, Constance, for your lovely comments and for my wonderful placement in your contest. I love your Crumbling Rhyme poetry form, your creativity knows no bounds. It was such a pleasure to write for your contest. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Allison Avatar
June 30, 2019 at 6:31 PM
a deep metaphorical poem Susan, many congrats you are such a gifted poet I love your work:-) hugs jan xx
Ashley Avatar
July 2, 2019 at 6:45 PM
Jan, I am truly moved by your beautiful comments and kind congrats. The feelings are mutual. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for gracing my poem with your shining presence, dear poetess. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Jae Avatar
June 26, 2019 at 3:19 PM
Congrats! I really enjoyed this one!
Ashley Avatar
June 26, 2019 at 8:50 PM
Your kind congrats are received with joy, Early. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Adams Avatar
June 26, 2019 at 6:25 AM
I love the metaphor you used in this piece, the depths of love can be as deep as the sea, and it can tumble like waves in a storm's fury....bravo! Congrats on your win :)
Ashley Avatar
June 26, 2019 at 8:52 PM
I relish your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats, Sandra. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your gracious visit and for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Mcgee Avatar
June 25, 2019 at 9:53 PM
Wonderfully done Susan. Congrats on your placement.
Ashley Avatar
June 26, 2019 at 8:49 PM
Thank you, Jeanne. Your lovely comments and kind congrats are a joy to receive. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Mcconnell Avatar
June 25, 2019 at 7:33 PM
Such a beautiful brilliant piece Susan, wonderful imagery throughout this. Simply stunning!
Ashley Avatar
June 25, 2019 at 9:27 PM
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, Gordon, I always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan
Dietrich Avatar
June 25, 2019 at 11:57 AM
You chose a great topic for crumbling, the betrayal by a loved one. Congrats on a win with this wonderful poem
Ashley Avatar
June 25, 2019 at 9:33 PM
Thank you for your lovely comments, Andrea. Yes, though it is a passionate theme that is endlessly expounded upon, it is endlessly fascinating as well. Your heartwarming congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Michael Avatar
June 22, 2019 at 4:43 AM
Each wave brings a new beginning to shore...we can only remember what is was before...Wonderful writing as usual...
Ashley Avatar
June 22, 2019 at 5:19 PM
Dear Arturo, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, mon ami. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
June 21, 2019 at 12:06 PM
A beautiful metaphorical poem which springs forth from deep within, Susan. Nothing like pain and heartache to induce emotional writing! A sprinkling of alliteration combined with a striking rhyme scheme are also deserving of mention. ~ Warm regards & hugs my friend. // paul
Ashley Avatar
June 22, 2019 at 5:17 PM
Your sparkling spirit fills my page with light and myself with joy, Paul. Thank you for your heart-lifting comments and for the smiles that ensue.. Your inspiring presence is so very appreciated, my dear friend. Warmest wishes and hugs always.. ~Susan -P.S. The beautiful rhyme scheme is Dear Heart's poetry form creation called 'Crumbling Rhyme' - and, I agree, it is striking!
Byrne Avatar
June 19, 2019 at 11:29 PM
Beautiful and dense, I reread many times.
Ashley Avatar
June 20, 2019 at 6:27 PM
I relish your lovely comment, David, as well as your many rereads. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Wolf Avatar
June 18, 2019 at 7:31 PM
'undertow's deceit' … 'a million grains 'neath my feet' --- incredible turns of phrases that work so well,...crafted by the Master Herself. Bravo, Susan. Peace and Joy, Gershon
Ashley Avatar
June 20, 2019 at 6:24 PM
Gershon, your gracious presence is always uplifting as are your generous and lovely comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem. You make my day, my dear friend! Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Lindley Avatar
June 18, 2019 at 5:52 PM
Great power , depths and intensity in your well chosen and illustrative words on, "grief heart’s voice " my immensely talented and very creative friend.. A fav,, another true and deep gem..
Ashley Avatar
June 20, 2019 at 6:21 PM
My dear friend, I relish your glowing presence and your uplifting spirit. Your precious comments are a wondrous joy to receive, Robert, as is your fav. Thank you for your generous appreciation of my poem and for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my dear friend.. ~Susan
Gondolf Avatar
June 16, 2019 at 5:39 PM
Wonderfully written poem full of deep emotion, Susan, best of luck in the contest. Warmest wishes. John
Ashley Avatar
June 20, 2019 at 6:14 PM
John, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Onclaud Avatar
June 16, 2019 at 2:48 PM
beautifully sullen is your piece on lost love , susan... dear heart will love this as much as i do.. huggs
Ashley Avatar
June 20, 2019 at 6:12 PM
I love that you used the word 'sullen' to describe my poem, Nette.. your beautiful comments sum it up perfectly. Your shining presence is always most appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Smith Avatar
June 16, 2019 at 10:40 AM
Just lovely Susan, :)
Ashley Avatar
June 18, 2019 at 10:26 PM
Thank you for your lovely comment, Gary. Your kindness is appreciated. warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Lamoureux Avatar
June 15, 2019 at 8:50 AM
You did this so well! The longing and revenge line is my favourite.
Ashley Avatar
June 15, 2019 at 9:01 PM
It's wonderful to see you, Richard, and it pleases me to know you enjoyed my poem. Your esteemed presence and wonderful comments are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Messina Avatar
June 14, 2019 at 9:42 PM
Susan, such a breath-taking write from your beautiful soul. Some people just have a knack for writing great poetry, and you dear friend fit the bill. Wonderful penning! Thank you also for your lovely comments and frequent visits to my poems. Warmest wishes always ~Charlie
Ashley Avatar
June 15, 2019 at 8:59 PM
Charlie, I relish your warmth and kindness. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem and your appreciation is greatly appreciated in return, my charming friend. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
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