Get Your Premium Membership

Shifting Sands Of Crumbled Love


              No other choice
        as my shadow schemes in the sand,
      lone cries on lovelorn wings give grief heart’s voice 
        over scorned wedding band.
  Sandcastles are crumbled in undertow’s deceit,
  longing and revenge, a million grains ‘neath my feet.
    Avenged by briny blue’s retreat,
  illusions built too closely to tide’s edge rejoice.





Susan Ashley June 14, 2019 ~ Fourth Place ~ Contest: Writing Challenge, June 2019, Crumbling Rhyme Poetry Contest Sponsor: Dear Heart

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




Post Comments
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 8/11/2019 8:24:00 PM
Beautifully dark, Susan.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 8/11/2019 10:07:00 PM
Thank you, Line, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming visit. Both are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 7/23/2019 5:36:00 PM
Hello Susan, Oh -I have enjoyed this poem. You out did yourself. have a nice evening my friend.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 7/25/2019 8:17:00 PM
Thank you, Darlene, for your beautiful comments. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. I hope you are having a wonderful evening, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/30/2019 6:38:00 PM
Susan congratulations on your win in my writing challenge with this wonderful write and sorry for my delay in visiting ~
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2019 6:47:00 PM
Thank you, Constance, for your lovely comments and for my wonderful placement in your contest. I love your Crumbling Rhyme poetry form, your creativity knows no bounds. It was such a pleasure to write for your contest. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/30/2019 6:31:00 PM
a deep metaphorical poem Susan, many congrats you are such a gifted poet I love your work:-) hugs jan xx
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2019 6:45:00 PM
Jan, I am truly moved by your beautiful comments and kind congrats. The feelings are mutual. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for gracing my poem with your shining presence, dear poetess. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/26/2019 3:19:00 PM
Congrats! I really enjoyed this one!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:50:00 PM
Your kind congrats are received with joy, Early. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/26/2019 6:25:00 AM
I love the metaphor you used in this piece, the depths of love can be as deep as the sea, and it can tumble like waves in a storm's fury....bravo! Congrats on your win :)
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:52:00 PM
I relish your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats, Sandra. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your gracious visit and for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/25/2019 9:53:00 PM
Wonderfully done Susan. Congrats on your placement.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:49:00 PM
Thank you, Jeanne. Your lovely comments and kind congrats are a joy to receive. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/25/2019 7:33:00 PM
Such a beautiful brilliant piece Susan, wonderful imagery throughout this. Simply stunning!
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/25/2019 9:27:00 PM
Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, Gordon, I always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan
Date: 6/25/2019 11:57:00 AM
You chose a great topic for crumbling, the betrayal by a loved one. Congrats on a win with this wonderful poem
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/25/2019 9:33:00 PM
Thank you for your lovely comments, Andrea. Yes, though it is a passionate theme that is endlessly expounded upon, it is endlessly fascinating as well. Your heartwarming congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/22/2019 4:43:00 AM
Each wave brings a new beginning to shore...we can only remember what is was before...Wonderful writing as usual...
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/22/2019 5:19:00 PM
Dear Arturo, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, mon ami. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/21/2019 12:06:00 PM
A beautiful metaphorical poem which springs forth from deep within, Susan. Nothing like pain and heartache to induce emotional writing! A sprinkling of alliteration combined with a striking rhyme scheme are also deserving of mention. ~ Warm regards & hugs my friend. // paul
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/22/2019 5:17:00 PM
Your sparkling spirit fills my page with light and myself with joy, Paul. Thank you for your heart-lifting comments and for the smiles that ensue.. Your inspiring presence is so very appreciated, my dear friend. Warmest wishes and hugs always.. ~Susan -P.S. The beautiful rhyme scheme is Dear Heart's poetry form creation called 'Crumbling Rhyme' - and, I agree, it is striking!
Date: 6/19/2019 11:29:00 PM
Beautiful and dense, I reread many times.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:27:00 PM
I relish your lovely comment, David, as well as your many rereads. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/18/2019 7:31:00 PM
'undertow's deceit' … 'a million grains 'neath my feet' --- incredible turns of phrases that work so well,...crafted by the Master Herself. Bravo, Susan. Peace and Joy, Gershon
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:24:00 PM
Gershon, your gracious presence is always uplifting as are your generous and lovely comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem. You make my day, my dear friend! Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/18/2019 5:52:00 PM
Great power , depths and intensity in your well chosen and illustrative words on, "grief heart’s voice " my immensely talented and very creative friend.. A fav,, another true and deep gem..
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:21:00 PM
My dear friend, I relish your glowing presence and your uplifting spirit. Your precious comments are a wondrous joy to receive, Robert, as is your fav. Thank you for your generous appreciation of my poem and for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my dear friend.. ~Susan
Date: 6/16/2019 5:39:00 PM
Wonderfully written poem full of deep emotion, Susan, best of luck in the contest. Warmest wishes. John
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:14:00 PM
John, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/16/2019 2:48:00 PM
beautifully sullen is your piece on lost love , susan... dear heart will love this as much as i do.. huggs
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:12:00 PM
I love that you used the word 'sullen' to describe my poem, Nette.. your beautiful comments sum it up perfectly. Your shining presence is always most appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/16/2019 10:40:00 AM
Just lovely Susan, :)
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/18/2019 10:26:00 PM
Thank you for your lovely comment, Gary. Your kindness is appreciated. warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 6/15/2019 8:50:00 AM
You did this so well! The longing and revenge line is my favourite.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2019 9:01:00 PM
It's wonderful to see you, Richard, and it pleases me to know you enjoyed my poem. Your esteemed presence and wonderful comments are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/14/2019 9:42:00 PM
Susan, such a breath-taking write from your beautiful soul. Some people just have a knack for writing great poetry, and you dear friend fit the bill. Wonderful penning! Thank you also for your lovely comments and frequent visits to my poems. Warmest wishes always ~Charlie
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2019 8:59:00 PM
Charlie, I relish your warmth and kindness. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem and your appreciation is greatly appreciated in return, my charming friend. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan
Date: 6/14/2019 9:07:00 PM
Susan your beautiful poem brought tears to my eyes; it makes me feel things that I did not know were inside me.
Login to Reply
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2019 8:56:00 PM
It's gratifying to know how deeply your felt my words, Caren. I relish your thoughts and cherish your kind spirit, my friend. Thank you for your heartwarming comments. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan