Home » Poems » Susan Ashley » Shifting Sands of Crumbled Love

Shifting Sands of Crumbled Love

No other choice as my shadow schemes in the sand, lone cries on lovelorn wings give grief heart’s voice over scorned wedding band. Sandcastles are crumbled in undertow’s deceit, longing and revenge; a million grains ‘neath my feet. Avenged by briny blue’s retreat, illusions built too closely to tide’s edge rejoice. Susan Ashley June 14, 2019 ~ Fourth Place ~ Contest: Writing Challenge, June 2019, Crumbling Rhyme Poetry Contest Sponsor: Dear Heart

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Vince Suzadail Jr.

Date: 10/3/2022 11:52:00 AM

Impressive. God Bless the poets.

Susan Ashley
Date: 10/3/2022 3:22:00 PM

Dear Vince, I truly appreciate your gracious visits to a few of my poems today. Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and for sharing in the emotions of this poem with me. Your uplifting comments are held in my gratitude. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Brenda Chiri

Date: 9/3/2019 6:45:00 PM

Ah my sane sissy simply put......amzazing!;) your words are so beautiful!;)

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/3/2019 8:39:00 PM

Ah my insane sissy, thank you for gracing my humble poem with your lovely presence. Your awesomeness is always appreciated, my dear sis. Love and hugs always.. the sane one ;)

Ann Foster

Date: 8/30/2019 8:13:00 AM

tides edge... oh yes... dance right upon the surface of the blade itself. Wow. I love your emotion, or at least I love to hate the strong sadness you have written. Excellent pen. Ann

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/3/2019 8:35:00 PM

Thank you for your gracious comments, Ann. Your presence is uplifting and your wonderful thoughts are inspiring. I’m so pleased to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes always my lovely friend.. ~Susan

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 8/29/2019 10:41:00 AM

Susan, I am always captivated and intrigued. You have out-classed yourself.

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/3/2019 8:23:00 PM

Thank you for your inspiring comments, Caren. Your presence is uplifting and always appreciated. Please accept my apologies for my late reply, unfortunately I haven’t been able to be active here lately. I hope all is well with you my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Kenneth Brenner

Date: 8/29/2019 7:48:00 AM

Susan!!..You amaze me, this work is short but absolutely sooo…vivid. You always impress my thoughts with your words you write, I'll never get tired of reading the creations you put forth. You know as well as I my writings (some), lol.. are off the wall, but, when I read you, well..you bring my soft side out, that to me is encouragement to write of things on the wall..lol..God Bless you always my dear friend and mentor of keeping a warm heart. ;-)

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/3/2019 8:19:00 PM

Thank you for your gracious comments and heartwarming visit, Kenneth. Your inspiration is always appreciated. I’m gratified to know that my words reach out and touch your soft side and I’m especially thankful for you taking the time to share your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always my dear and talented friend.. ~Susan

Anna Hopper

Date: 8/28/2019 10:40:00 AM

Beautiful!

Susan Ashley
Date: 9/3/2019 8:13:00 PM

Thank you for your inspiring comment and kind visit, Anna. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Line Gauthier

Date: 8/11/2019 8:24:00 PM

Beautifully dark, Susan.

Susan Ashley
Date: 8/11/2019 10:07:00 PM

Thank you, Line, for your wonderful comments and heartwarming visit. Both are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 7/23/2019 5:36:00 PM

Hello Susan, Oh -I have enjoyed this poem. You out did yourself. have a nice evening my friend.

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/25/2019 8:17:00 PM

Thank you, Darlene, for your beautiful comments. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. I hope you are having a wonderful evening, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Constance La France

Date: 6/30/2019 6:38:00 PM

Susan congratulations on your win in my writing challenge with this wonderful write and sorry for my delay in visiting ~

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2019 6:47:00 PM

Thank you, Constance, for your lovely comments and for my wonderful placement in your contest. I love your Crumbling Rhyme poetry form, your creativity knows no bounds. It was such a pleasure to write for your contest. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Jan Allison

Date: 6/30/2019 6:31:00 PM

a deep metaphorical poem Susan, many congrats you are such a gifted poet I love your work:-) hugs jan xx

Susan Ashley
Date: 7/2/2019 6:45:00 PM

Jan, I am truly moved by your beautiful comments and kind congrats. The feelings are mutual. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for gracing my poem with your shining presence, dear poetess. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Early Jae

Date: 6/26/2019 3:19:00 PM

Congrats! I really enjoyed this one!

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:50:00 PM

Your kind congrats are received with joy, Early. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sandra Adams

Date: 6/26/2019 6:25:00 AM

I love the metaphor you used in this piece, the depths of love can be as deep as the sea, and it can tumble like waves in a storm's fury....bravo! Congrats on your win :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:52:00 PM

I relish your lovely comments and heartwarming congrats, Sandra. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your gracious visit and for sharing your wonderful thoughts with me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Jeanne Mcgee

Date: 6/25/2019 9:53:00 PM

Wonderfully done Susan. Congrats on your placement.

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/26/2019 8:49:00 PM

Thank you, Jeanne. Your lovely comments and kind congrats are a joy to receive. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Gordon Mcconnell

Date: 6/25/2019 7:33:00 PM

Such a beautiful brilliant piece Susan, wonderful imagery throughout this. Simply stunning!

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/25/2019 9:27:00 PM

Thank you so much for the wonderful comments, Gordon, I always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/25/2019 11:57:00 AM

You chose a great topic for crumbling, the betrayal by a loved one. Congrats on a win with this wonderful poem

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/25/2019 9:33:00 PM

Thank you for your lovely comments, Andrea. Yes, though it is a passionate theme that is endlessly expounded upon, it is endlessly fascinating as well. Your heartwarming congrats are truly appreciated. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Arturo Michael

Date: 6/22/2019 4:43:00 AM

Each wave brings a new beginning to shore...we can only remember what is was before...Wonderful writing as usual...

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/22/2019 5:19:00 PM

Dear Arturo, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, mon ami. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Paul Callus

Date: 6/21/2019 12:06:00 PM

A beautiful metaphorical poem which springs forth from deep within, Susan. Nothing like pain and heartache to induce emotional writing! A sprinkling of alliteration combined with a striking rhyme scheme are also deserving of mention. ~ Warm regards & hugs my friend. // paul

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/22/2019 5:17:00 PM

Your sparkling spirit fills my page with light and myself with joy, Paul. Thank you for your heart-lifting comments and for the smiles that ensue.. Your inspiring presence is so very appreciated, my dear friend. Warmest wishes and hugs always.. ~Susan -P.S. The beautiful rhyme scheme is Dear Heart's poetry form creation called 'Crumbling Rhyme' - and, I agree, it is striking!

David Byrne

Date: 6/19/2019 11:29:00 PM

Beautiful and dense, I reread many times.

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:27:00 PM

I relish your lovely comment, David, as well as your many rereads. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Gershon Wolf

Date: 6/18/2019 7:31:00 PM

'undertow's deceit' … 'a million grains 'neath my feet' --- incredible turns of phrases that work so well,...crafted by the Master Herself. Bravo, Susan. Peace and Joy, Gershon

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:24:00 PM

Gershon, your gracious presence is always uplifting as are your generous and lovely comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my poem. You make my day, my dear friend! Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Robert Lindley

Date: 6/18/2019 5:52:00 PM

Great power , depths and intensity in your well chosen and illustrative words on, "grief heart’s voice " my immensely talented and very creative friend.. A fav,, another true and deep gem..

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:21:00 PM

My dear friend, I relish your glowing presence and your uplifting spirit. Your precious comments are a wondrous joy to receive, Robert, as is your fav. Thank you for your generous appreciation of my poem and for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my dear friend.. ~Susan

John Gondolf

Date: 6/16/2019 5:39:00 PM

Wonderfully written poem full of deep emotion, Susan, best of luck in the contest. Warmest wishes. John

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:14:00 PM

John, thank you for your gracious visit and for your wonderful comments. You are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Nette Onclaud

Date: 6/16/2019 2:48:00 PM

beautifully sullen is your piece on lost love , susan... dear heart will love this as much as i do.. huggs

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/20/2019 6:12:00 PM

I love that you used the word 'sullen' to describe my poem, Nette.. your beautiful comments sum it up perfectly. Your shining presence is always most appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Gary Smith

Date: 6/16/2019 10:40:00 AM

Just lovely Susan, :)

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/18/2019 10:26:00 PM

Thank you for your lovely comment, Gary. Your kindness is appreciated. warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 6/15/2019 8:50:00 AM

You did this so well! The longing and revenge line is my favourite.

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2019 9:01:00 PM

It's wonderful to see you, Richard, and it pleases me to know you enjoyed my poem. Your esteemed presence and wonderful comments are truly appreciated, my friend. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan

Charles Messina

Date: 6/14/2019 9:42:00 PM

Susan, such a breath-taking write from your beautiful soul. Some people just have a knack for writing great poetry, and you dear friend fit the bill. Wonderful penning! Thank you also for your lovely comments and frequent visits to my poems. Warmest wishes always ~Charlie

Susan Ashley
Date: 6/15/2019 8:59:00 PM

Charlie, I relish your warmth and kindness. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem and your appreciation is greatly appreciated in return, my charming friend. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. Warmest wishes always.. ~Susan