Earl Schumacker | + Follow Poet |
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Sheep and Cattle

Sheep And Cattle

The government issued citations today
My sheep and cattle are not welcome into town no more
They must wear diapers in the fields
And not allowed outside on Sundays
No more grain or grass for them, the complaint read
No more manure
It is a matter of manners 
Sheep can be used exclusively for stews
Cattle must become hamburgers and wear brown shoes
No more farting in the meadows
My animals give off gases which is against the laws of nature
Destroying the ozone levels in the process
Offending the atmosphere
I have no clue who creates these laws 
Politicians with nothing better to do
Someone needs to remove their heads from their posterior
Or my animals will stop producing food

Copyright © Earl Schumacker | Year Posted 2014

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Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/20/2014 1:42:00 PM great poem on some pretty ridiculous citations. Loved the part about diapers. Login to Reply Earl Schumacker Date: 12/20/2014 1:55:00 PM Hi Andrea, Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. There was a real law in San Francisco passed where horses had to wear diapers in order for owners to run their horse and buggy business there. I made up the part about cows having to wear brown shoes but it makes sense because they might step in something. Have a wonderful week end. Earl Earl Schumacker Date: 12/20/2014 1:47:00 PM Hi David. Thanks! Glad you liked it. You are right. The USA spent over $800,000.00 (tax payer dollars), to study cow gases. We also spent $20,000.00 to have one hammer made. $50,000.00 for 1 coffee machine. (That has to be one hell of a cup of coffee.) and $70.000,00 for 1 toilet for the Navy. That sounds like a lot of "s_ _ _" to me. I wrote this poem just for fun. The cows don't really have to wear brown shoes but it makes sense because they might step in something. Have a great week end. Earl

David Meade Date: 12/20/2014 1:03:00 PM I have been reading articles about this gaseous situation -- what's next, us!! There is has been a lot of money spent researching cow farting!! Nicely done. Login to Reply Earl Schumacker Date: 12/20/2014 1:49:00 PM Hi David. Thanks! Glad you liked it. You are right. The USA spent over $800,000.00 (tax payer dollars), to study cow gases. We also spent $20,000.00 to have one hammer made. $50,000.00 for 1 coffee machine. (That has to be one hell of a cup of coffee.) and $70.000,00 for 1 toilet for the Navy. That sounds like a lot of "s_ _ _" to me. I wrote this poem just for fun. The cows don't really have to wear brown shoes but it makes sense because they might step in something. Have a great week end. Earl

Jan Allison Date: 12/20/2014 12:33:00 PM I found this humourous but also most concerning - the people who make these laws need shooting - great write as ever:-) Hugs jan xxx Login to Reply Earl Schumacker Date: 12/20/2014 1:34:00 PM Hi Jan. Thank you. Glad you liked it. The US gov. spent hundreds of thousands of tax payer dollars on the study of cow gases. One volcano with one eruption emits more gases than all the cows in the world in a lifetime. I was surprised to see that you also touched on this subject. Great minds think alike. Take care. Earl