Shechem's In the Kitchen With Dinah

(best when sung) Shechem’s in the kitchen with Dinah He’s in trouble, don’t you know? oh oh oh Shechem’s in the kitchen with Dinah Simeon’s about to blow See, Dinah was Jacob’s daughter Shechem wanted for a wife He took her much too early And started all the strife Shechem’s father went to Jacob He asked for Dinah‘s hand They’d intermarry daughters Make peace throughout the land Jacob’s sons got wind of this And they got really pissed They came up with a little plan A sort of grown up bris The plot was circumcision There’d be no deal without Shechem’s dad convinced his men He must have had some clout “See, we’ll marry their daughters They’ll do just the same.” So Hamor’s men all lined up They put skin in the game A few days soon thereafter When everyone was sore Simeon and Judah walked right in And killed them with the sword Then Jacob grew quite angry “You’ve brought our family shame The Canaanites will come after us And blot out our good name.” His sons weren’t having any Saw no need for redress The honor of their sister Was worth this awful mess Shech went in the kitchen with Dinah It was a costly trip, oh oh oh Thought that he could dine for free Her brothers forced the tip (from Genesis 34)