She Is a Story Topper

She is a story topper. If your eye is quivering, hers has dropped out and slid under the couch. If you think you are having a heart attack, she has had sixteen stints. She is a story topper. If you have broken your foot, she has broken her arm, leg, and neck. If your refrigerator has black mold, two of her houses have burned to the ground. She is a story topper. If your man left you for another woman, hers left her for a horse. If you got left at the altar, she got left in the middle of hell. She is a story topper. My husband knows better than to try to complain. Because she is me.