Home » Poems » Dan Cwiak » She Doesn'T Know

She Doesn'T Know

It's been a while since I've told this tale
Thinking of it still makes me pale.
Was it hubris or foolishness or naivete'
That made me want to go away.

I wasn't leaving which you understood
But the job they offered just seemed too good.
Long distance marriage was not your style
I should have known...just add it to the pile.

They promised the sky, the moon, and the stars
But all that was left was a life full of scars.
Quitting the company...I did for us
After too many minuses vs. one plus.

I tried to win your heart, again
But the hurt went so deep, you couldn't begin.
So, that night I would have made a choice
Yet, I needed to hear just one friendly voice.

Calling Bob, but only Linda was home
So we chatted a few minutes, there on the phone.
After a few short minutes of conversation
She stopped me cold with her keen observation.

"DON'T DO IT BUTCH, I'M TELLING YOU NOW
I HEAR IT IN YOUR VOICE...YOU'RE WONDERING HOW"?
She spent the next minutes telling me her tale
"IF SOMEONE HADN'T FOUND ME, I'D BE COLD AND PALE"

I believe I would have done it myself that night
But her words gave me the courage to fight.
No home, no job, and collectors at the door
I would have jumped from that fourth floor.

Like a bucket of water her words woke me
A different day was dawning for me to see.
While lost and alone and really scared
I finally realized that someone cared.

Then the next big shock was given to me
By someone I'd worked with at the bakery.
"John", I started, "I don't know who else to see",
Without batting an eye, "HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED?

NEED A THOUSAND OR TWO OR EVEN FIVE"?
Another bucket of water, between the eyes.
I borrowed $200 to keep the wolves at bay
John said to call him the very next day.

He got me a job driving a truck,
On looking back, it was more than luck.
For the Lord was watching out for me
Forgiving my sins...He carried me.

Four short years our marriage lived
Too much pain for you to forgive.
Perhaps I should have fought the divorce
But I loved you too much to stay on that course.

We haven't seen each other or spoken in 40 years
Yet it still sets me to tears.
The Lord intervened thru Linda and John
I don't' even know where they may have gone.

The $200 I borrowed from John to begin
He never let me pay it back to him.
He's got to be up there with heaven's kind
If Linda's still here, she's not far behind.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways
His glory will be seen one of these days.
The gal I hurt so long ago
I love her still, tho she doesn't know.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.