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Shadow In Self Alouette

The midnight tossing with next light browsing throughout the dream — where floor breaks but the dragging lasts, an impression past the shadow within that frays the little girl's spur and the woman's lure — the nimbus from her steps born from heaven's dark gaze — approaching her gait... her shadow, a braid for morn.

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Anonomus Scorpio

Date: 2/16/2025 3:44:00 PM

I love the use of enjambment. It brings out a level of urgency like no other device. When I read your work, Paige, I always love the way you trace yourself into writing. This us such a smile provoking line. "the little girl's spur and the woman's lure —" A.S.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 11/26/2024 8:42:00 AM

A transition from girlhood to womanhood, using vivid metaphors and abstract imagery. Great poem.

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 11/26/2024 2:37:00 AM

From girl to woman, it seems to occur in a minute. I love your poem. The metaphors are outstanding.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 11/25/2024 7:24:00 PM

Very nice, Paige! I love those first two lines! Hugs ~ Kim

Sotto Poet

Date: 11/25/2024 4:32:00 PM

I adore the rhythm of this poetry, and your use of metaphors and abstract writing is incredibly distinctive and honest! I enjoyed reading this gem.

Ink Empress

Date: 11/25/2024 2:12:00 PM

Dear sweet Paige, I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for being a beautiful soul, and for checking up on me and also i love the cadence of this poem, your way with metaphors and how you write abstract is very original and sincere! Pleasure reading this gem. Sending you light always. Isnt it thanksgiving soon? Happy thanksgiving to you and your family xx

Paige Hind
Date: 11/25/2024 2:41:00 PM

Yes, it's Thanksgiving soon! Sending light to you and yours as well! xx

Silent One

Date: 11/25/2024 2:07:00 PM

Nice rhymes in your poem, Paige

Sam Kauffman

Date: 11/22/2024 3:57:00 PM

Well done, Paige, with wonderfully creative images of a little girl and a woman. Best wishes for the contest if this is for a contest. Stay blessed!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/22/2024 11:54:00 AM

What Daniel said. I too found the braid line quite striking, Paige

Mat Ignacio

Date: 11/22/2024 8:09:00 AM

my thoughts echo that of daniel's - you have really tapped into the cadence of this as well - a pleasure

Daniel Henry Rodgers

Date: 11/22/2024 4:39:00 AM

My Dear Paige, So hauntingly beautiful! The way you interlace dreams, shadows, and the transition from girl to woman is mesmerizing. I loved your imagery of the "nimbus from her steps" and "shadow, a braid for morn" is strikingly evocative. Your artistic and insightful words dance gracefully through complex emotions. Enchanting! Autumn Blessings, My Dear Friend, Daniel