Separate Me, My Soul From My Body
Another day, another day to cross out on the calendar
Are these lens called my eyes functioning
I couldn't be the one to say it, my attention is elsewhere; I'm dazed
Today is just one of those days
Lost in a memory, a memory hidden from another lifetime ago...
Could a doctor, please, run a test on my mind so I can find, locate
these ailments that replay continuously those proud days so strange
so strange, so longo, so long ago ~ how long has it been
All I remember is 3 years, just not the exact date or time
Seems like as soon as I loved where I was standing
reality crushed me brutally though it's only a dead theory
I've reshaped, twisted and contorted transformation to restart myself
but I'm just a hollow capsule of who I used to be, imaginary
I believe only one thing made me whole although I was speaking blindly
I still trust the fire is still burning yet it's only a tall tale
What do I want, it matters not ~ illusionary
but whatever it is, it can stall for one more day
There's not a real rush, just a slow day to remember ~ nostalgic
I've only seen just one small chance myself ~ rebel society
to be different, to stay within my guidelines, cross no lines ~ trapped
Sinking with a ship, call me the captain ~ so hello tranquil waters
Upon my shoulders, a brief history ~ a serenity filled memory
a small chivalrice gesture, an impact all the same
love hearing the sound of our colliding names
though senses fail now, since the sound never collides anymore
still the memory will forever remain ~ peaceful slumber
People I know proclaim I'm evermore distant
My answer: it's just a reaction ~ there's no denying the truth
Letting go is hard enough but can't let it turn into an excuse
I do miss though the taste of her lips and the warmth of her skin
Loved the beauty in her eyes but felt the disdain of her leaving
and I admit my anger wanted me to allow my violent stature to punch a wall
but before I hit, I freeze, since I know I will bleed ~ thoughtful
The suicidal virus creeps upon me ~ jump off a bridge, make it out alive
float lazily down an ocean without danger ~ decompressing
Over the years, I've realized that I take the weight
the weight of my problems and everybody elses on my shoulders
because I believe if I do nothing then the situation's results remain my fault
even if it's beyond my resolve
I may not be able to save everyone
but at least I could rest knowing I did the best I can
and it's that single memory that separates me
from the elements of the Earth, the people residing in it
from gravity, from time, from space
separate me, my soul from my body
I took an uncomfortable chair to sit upon to draw out my memories
constructing this poetic satire of a reminder
an outcome was never my fault ~ wrong place, wrong time
I'm still fighting myself over it; it'll pass eventually
I apologized more than usual just for hopes I'll be forgiven
and I know I miss her ~ forever etched, burning
I'm just drifting into the eye of this storm
to feel the calm amidst this chaos ~ hopefully
Copyright © Andrus Cassian | Year Posted 2016
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