Selfish Longing

It's like there is a vacuum in my heart Pulling everything tight And as the pain increases I feel I should tell someone But these are selfish pains And I can't admit to a soul That without anything wrong I am hurting and ache with sadness Particularly I can't let anyone know How I'll feel better if noticed It's so shameful to admit I teeter so close to despair That I need reminders of love The answers lie in the past Centre of the world or cast aside I plunge into childlike feeling of loneliness Where I'm freefalling until I zone out And if my hand is grabbed mid fall To tell me I deserve this space Then I believe it, it rings true Held. With pain reinforced You deserve this I don't understand you Why do you do this I don't know But I could be better in an instant If only someone knew how I felt